The Sunday School Movement transformed the lives of poor kids. It's time for another movement...

Sunday Schools were not always a thing. 

The very first Sunday Schools were established in England in 1780 to reach out to poor, illiterate children working under brutal conditions in factories. These classes taught basic reading and writing, as well as Biblical principles. Millions of children were reached.

The Industrial Revolution was in full swing. So most lower class children spent all week toiling in factories. Working hours were long and it wasn't until 1802 that a law was passed restricting the amount of time a child could work each day to just 12 hours!

Saturday was part of the regular work week, so Sunday was the only available time for poor children to gain some education. At this time there was no public school system.

Out of this desperate need, came something beautiful.

Two Christian men, William King and Robert Raikes, wanted to help these kids, and so they started the first Sunday Schools in their own home towns, Dursley and Gloucester. 

As they spread the word, more churches caught the vision and energetically began to create Sunday schools. Within a short space of time, the movement had become extremely popular. The movement reached 250,000 children across England within 5 years, and over the next 50 years more than 2 million kids attended Sunday School as the movement spread to the US and beyond.

Sunday Schools quickly became a core part of almost every church program. By the mid-19th century, Sunday school attendance was a near universal aspect of childhood. Even parents who did not regularly attend church themselves generally insisted that their children go to Sunday school.

Impoverished families were grateful for an opportunity to receive an education. They also enjoyed annual highlights such as prize days, parades, and picnics, which came to mark the calendars of their lives as much as the traditional seasonal holidays.

This was truly a movement that arose within the church to bless and serve vulnerable children.

Its legacy continues today, though the universal expectation that children would attend Sunday School has faded over the past few decades.

An Alongsiders meeting in Cambodia - a fast growing new movement to equip youth to reach out to vulnerable children.

As I've studied the history of the Sunday School movement, it strikes me that the world desperately needs another church-led movement for children.

The church desperately needs a new strategy and simple tools to reach its neighbours.

And that's where the Alongsiders movement comes in...

With the simple, yet powerful idea that EVERY young Christian could walk alongside a vulnerable child in their own community...

That these young Christians would form themselves into groups and call themselves "Alongsiders"...

What we need today is another movement of the Spirit for our most vulnerable kids.

A movement that might just change the world.

As the Alongsiders discipleship movement spreads through Asia and Africa, and now into Central America and the Middle East, join us in praying that more children would be reached.

The time is now.

Change starts with you. This is how simple empowerment can be.

“A LOT of young people want to do something. They want to grow their local church. They want to change their community.”

Is this how you perceive the youth in your local church?

This is what one of the Alongsider coordinators in Cambodia says to local pastors when he shares the Alongsiders vision with them for the first time. Many of them say, "Where did you get this idea? It's such a great idea to educate young people and to change the community. Can you come back next week?" 

Of course, not every pastor responds this way, and not all young Christians fit his description. But again and again, we are seeing people of all ages who know something needs to change. And they see in Alongsiders an opening. 

When this coordinator, whose name is Phearom, shares the same vision with a group of youth, he always starts with a story. Then he says: "Change starts with you." 

They know something needs to change. Next they need to decide what to do about it.

Is telling them "it starts with you" an impossible burden or an opportunity? We think it's an opportunity, and because God leads us by example in Jesus and by his Spirit, it's possible!

If the youth decide to respond, it's easy to start the process to become Alongsiders.

Recently, a new Alongsider named Nisai said, "I felt at first like only smart people, older people, or leaders could be Alongsiders. Not just any member of the church. Then I heard that I could do it, too! I chose my little brother because I felt he wasn't feeling secure or loved in his family. His father drinks every day and hits him. I want to protect him. I also want to help him with his school work and keep him from gambling or drinking.

The danger facing any movement is the temptation to turn it into a performance based program that leaders try to manage and control. This is what happens whenever we doubt that the Spirit can (or will) lead people to act in love. 

Recognizing this danger, we emphasize and remind ourselves that the role of leaders in Alongsider movements is to inspire and empower, not to manage and control others. 

That doesn't mean we can't be intentional or organized. A great example of a brilliantly organized movement that avoids managing or controlling its members is Alcoholics Anonymous.  The structure and requirements of Alcoholics Anonymous are so simple that anyone can understand them and carry them out. Even so, they ask MUCH of their members, and their members give it gladly. They don't need or care about rewards and obligations because their lives are being transformed!

That's what we want to see. We share the vision so that when it takes hold, groups of Alongsiders will be led by the Spirit to serve and love their neighbors -- starting with the most vulnerable ones.

Paul understood the importance of keeping the movement of Christ simple. He wrote to the Galatians, "For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'" (Gal. 5:14).

Nisai, the Alongsider quoted above, felt insecure in his faith and role in God's Kingdom. But now he and the other Alongsiders in his group are sending out a ripple effect through their village. They're inspired and empowered. They've decided what they want to do.

What they're doing, loving their neighbors as themselves, is not an add-on to the gospel. It's the core work of walking in the Spirit and being the church together.

They make the most important decisions in any Alongsiders movement

The most important decisions in the Alongsiders movement aren't made in a North American headquarters, but under a hot tin roof in the rural villages and urban slums of Asia and Africa.

They're made every time an Alongsiders coordinator shares the vision with youth in a local church, and they decide to become Alongsiders.

These young Christians pray and decide for themselves who they should choose as their "little brother" or "little sister". Then they form a group, and decide who should be their group leader. 

Before these most important decisions are made, or even considered, coordinators have gone out and connected with pastors one at a time. And as you may guess, that's easy to say and hard to do. To connect with many local churches, coordinators have to bridge gaps and adapt to diverse styles, structures, rules, and personalities. Then they persevere and do it again and again. 

What we've found over time is that the churches that respond most positively to the Alongsiders movement aren't the most "successful" mega-churches. They're more often small local churches in economically poor, rural communities off the beaten track. And the youth who make the best Alongsiders are the ones who can say, "I chose him, because he was like me."

If I can connect with a rural church, most of the time they will want start an Alongsiders group there." - Phearom Mark, Alongsiders Cambodia Coordinator

The big urban churches in the towns and cities are often more distracted. The pastors and members tend to busy with other programs and events. Certain programs are supported by foreign donors. Once pastors have been exposed to donor money, some will look for programs that keep it coming. And the Alongsiders movement doesn't do that.

Last week I went with Phearom, one of the two coordinators in Cambodia, to visit an Anglican church in a rural village almost three hours from Phnom Penh. It was like countless villages, an anonymous turn off the highway and down a narrow dirt road lined with wooden homes of farmers. When we arrived, we found eleven youth waiting to sign up as Alongsiders. 

They had each made the choice to become Alongsider mentors after Phearom visited and shared the vision in November. What a sight it was to see them all and hear their stories!

One said he was so excited when he heard they could become an Alongsider. He immediately chose his little brother, a boy who has lived with his uncle ever since his parents abandoned him. His new Alongsider says, "I chose him because I knew I could help him."

The village is literally being left behind. The youth are growing up and going to the cities work or study. Even Cambodians might say this is a "failing" community and view it with distaste. So is a local church in a "failing" community also "failing"? What would that say about the youth who stay there? 

The truth is, we saw the Kingdom of God visible in these eleven youth who aren't too busy to walk (or ride a motorbike) with a vulnerable child.

He was excited when Alongsiders came to his church and immediately went out and found this boy to be his little brother.

This is the kind of success we get excited about. Local churches like this one, whose pastors and members identify with being vulnerable themselves, are the leading edges of Alongsider movements.

They resonate with these words Paul used to describe himself and his coworkers:

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. (2 Cor 4:7-10, ESV)

The most important decisions in the Alongsiders movement are made by those at a grassroots level who live and learn these lessons every day.

The most important decisions are made by those willing to pay the cost of walking alongside those who walk alone. They are the poor, the marginalized, the young and the overlooked.

Glory be to God for this treasure in jars of clay.

3 keys for longevity in a discipleship movement

The Alongsiders discipleship movement in Cambodia has been growing for more than 12 years. During that time we have learnt a number of lessons about what it takes to grow and sustain such a movement.

Serey Choeng, leader of the Alongsiders Cambodia movement

One of the earliest leaders in the movement, Serey Choeng, has embodied many of those lessons in her own journey. So, let's examine her life growing up in a Phnom Penh slum community and from there, share some lessons learned along the way.

The community where Serey grew up shares a narrow alley with houses packed tightly on either side. When she was a child, the floodwater during the rainy season mixed with sewage from an open channel just behind the last houses. The fouled water would rise above her head and flow into the homes from below. The neighbors would build rickety walkways over it, but you couldn't avoid it. You waded in it; some children swam in it.

Life in the slum was messy.

Serey's community [Photo taken in 2005]

Drugs were bought and sold in the shadows, and neighbors drank and gambled outside in the evenings. The pathway forked at a point near Serey's home, and one way led to a row of brothels, of which one or two remain today. Most of the people were simply working hard to feed their families, trying to get ahead if they could. They worked construction, ran micro-businesses, or labored in factories.

Three days a week, during the hours when she wasn't in school, Serey would throw an empty rice sack over her shoulder and walk the streets, gathering items from the trash that she could sell to the recyclers: mainly cardboard, plastic bottles, and cans. Her mother went house-to-house every day, pulling a cart that got heavier by the kilometer. She bought old and broken appliances, housewares, and anything else that she could sell, including whatever the recyclers were buying. 

Serey's auntie, who lived a few houses away, worked as a housekeeper for a foreign family. She was unmarried, had a reliable income, and owned her house. She saw the plight of her sister's family and decided to help, so she took Serey into her home. She was very strict and critical, and Serey felt like it was a hard life living there. She went with her auntie to work sometimes, and she learned how to clean houses and cook. When she was sixteen, she got her own job as a housekeeper, and she impressed the foreign lady who employed her with her hard work.

Serey was the first one in her family to come to faith. She began attending a church that only had five or six members. They met in one small room of a home along the alley. That's where she first heard of Project HALO.

The letters stood for Hope, Assistance, and Love for Orphans. It was a ground-breaking program that tried to keep children orphaned by AIDS together with their remaining families (with a surviving parent, grandparents, or other relatives). They also had one of the first foster care programs in Cambodia.

When the representative came to Serey's church, he said they were looking for Christian youth to serve as mentors, to be like “big brothers and sisters” for orphaned children. By that time, the little church had about ten youth, and most of them signed up. “At first I joined to have fun,” Serey says. “But later it was because I wanted to help, because I knew how the kids felt.”

Serey was one of the first Alongsiders, and part of the second wave of youth who joined the movement. Previously, the leaders had asked youth living outside the slum to become mentors, but those mentors had really struggled. For one thing, they were afraid that their motorcycles would be stolen while parked in the alley. They were essentially middle class Cambodians, and the slum was a foreign place to them.

But for Serey, the slum was her home, and she had a better idea what the kids in Project HALO were going through.

When Serey first became a mentor, she was assigned to a girl whose mother had AIDS. “I tried to get to know her,” she says, “but she was withdrawn and didn't speak much. One time we went to camp, and I felt like I got to know her better through that. She really suffered at home, because her mother was sick and they had so little support.” Serey never formed a strong bond with this first little sister, and then the girl and her mother moved away. 

This was another lesson the leaders of Alongsiders learned in those days. It was better if youth joining the movement chose their own little brothers and sisters. The Alongsiders needed more freedom to find a child they could relate to, and it was important for them to own the relationship. 

Serey and Neang early in their relationship

Serey wanted to continue being an Alongsider, so she prayed about who to choose next. She saw many needy children, but she finally picked the one who was “most like me.” Neang was six years old. She lived with her mother and grandmother just a few houses down. They were very poor, as were most of the local children. What caught Serey's attention was that Neang didn't have any friends. She was very quiet and lonely.

Serey naturally saw Neang every day, and two or three times per week, she would sit down and talk with her.  When she was eleven, Neang came to faith. By that time, Serey's parents and auntie had all come to faith, and they had all joined the local church. Neang's older sister, who had an Alongsider mentor as well, became a Christian, too. 

In July of 2006, Serey was invited to became the third leader of the Alongsiders Cambodia movement. She was still working as a housekeeper with proven integrity, and she had become a faithful and capable leader in her church. Most importantly, she personally understood what Alongsiders was about. She prayed for three weeks before accepting the position. A co-worker was hired at the same time, and the two worked well together. The movement started to grow, and within two years they had mobilized nearly three hundred Alongsiders plus an equal number of little brothers and sisters.

Serey training Alongsiders and their little brothers and sisters at an Alongsiders camp

It's good to reflect on our history. We're grateful to celebrate leaders like Serey, and it helps us remember why we do things the way we do. Reflecting on where we have come from also allows us to distill lessons learned along the way so that others can avoid making the same mistakes. So, here are 3 key lessons from Serey's story...

1. The Principle of Prayer

In Matthew 9, it says Jesus went out into the towns and villages, and crowds of people showed up, but they were "like sheep without a shepherd." So he told the disciples to pray for workers, because the harvest was plentiful. Where do the workers come from? We believe the workers are there, in the towns and villages and slums, and we're praying that God will raise them up because that is how He commanded us to approach the task. And God is doing that as we mobilize, equip, and release Alongsiders.

From early on, Serey recognized the power of prayer, first in her own life as she prayed for God to show her who to choose as her little sister, and then later as she rose to lead the movement, as she prayed for guidance and more Alongsiders. 

2. The Principle of Proximity 

A major turning point came when the early leaders chose to mobilize Alongsiders from local churches inside the communities, rather than recruiting mentors from outside the community who would travel in. If we want to see young people who know how to follow Jesus in everyday life, we need to disciple them in everyday life. That's why proximity is a key. Little brothers and sisters need to see their Alongsiders in action, in every day situations - not just parachuting into the community for a classroom discipleship experience.

Serey herself was part of the new wave of Alongsiders recruited to serve within their own communities. She saw firsthand the fruit of that approach and has applied that lesson to help the movement grow.

3. The Principle of Empowerment

Likewise, it made all the difference when Alongsiders were allowed to choose their own little brothers and sisters. Besides allowing them to own the relationships, we've recognized that young people becoming mentors need to make choices and take responsibility. This is good for the movement, and it's part of their own growth and development as humans and disciples. Like Serey, many have embraced this process. We've often heard about new Alongsiders praying for days or even weeks before choosing a little brother or sister.  

Serey and Neang today

Taken together, these keys to longevity were essential for Alongsiders to change from being a centrally planned, managed, and scripted project to being a movement owned, powered, and initiated by leaders and disciples at the margins.

How might these lessons inform the discipleship movement you are part of?

This poem beautifully explains the power of a story

This is a sample of one of our Indian comic book lessons. English is used in this sample, but Hindi, Punjabi, Urdu and Telegu versions are currently in progress.

The Alongsiders movement continues to spread through different countries in Asia and Africa. These are cultures where values and beliefs are passed orally from one generation to another.

In the countries we work, important messages are taught in proverbs or songs, folktales, sayings, ballads, or chants.

So, our discipleship material must be presented in a form that will be well received and easily understood by young people and children who are used to these oral forms of communication.

Long lists of doctrine, 3-point sermons and abstract principles will simply not do in this context.

Jesus was a master of this form of communication, and His teachings have stood the test of time partly because He wrapped them in compelling parables and sayings.

So, to help communicate the importance of stories and word pictures to you our readers, enjoy this poem which is based on a famous story told by Jacob Kranz, an 18th century rabbi based in eastern Europe.

The poem beautifully captures the essence of what we are doing through our comic book curriculum...

Naked Truth

Naked Truth walked down the street one day.

People turned their eyes away.

Parable arrived, draped in decoration.

People greeted Parable with celebration.

Naked Truth sat alone, sad and unattired,

“Why are you so miserable?” Parable inquired.

Naked Truth replied, “I’m not welcome anymore.

No one wants to see me. They chase me from the door.”

“It is hard to look at Naked Truth,”Parable explained.

“Let me dress you up a bit. Your welcome will be gained.”

Parable dressed Naked Truth in story’s fine attire, with metaphor, poignant prose, and plots to inspire.

With laughter and tears and adventure to unveil,

Together they went forth to spin a tale.

People opened their doors and served them their best.

Naked Truth dressed in story was a welcome guest. 

(A Jewish tale retold as a poem by Heather Forest)

How to find intimacy with God this Christmas - a lesson from an Alongsider

Most Christians I know want a more intimate relationship with God, but most of us, when we strive to have a closer relationship with God, struggle to find it.

Again and again it seems the things we do to draw closer to God fall short. It's as though the intimate relationship we seek is a mirage that recedes before us. 

Or we experience intimacy with God in a wonderful moment, but then it passes. So we throw ourselves back into prayer, worship, Bible study, or the next big event longing for a breakthrough.

What we don't appreciate is that God has already closed the gap and is with us. We don't see this, because we're focused on ourselves or off in the distance where we think Jesus is.

No one has known the heart of the Father better than Jesus. He  said that he always did what his "Abba" (Papa) was doing. How we long for that kind of relationship, and yet it's right in front of us. We can talk about how Jesus woke up early to pray, or about signs and wonders he did, but we can never say Jesus was searching somewhere "out there" for intimacy with God. He didn't go looking for spiritual experiences, because he was constantly running into real people and loving them with the gifts and resources he had.

That's what his Papa was doing.

Consider the words of Paul to a group of believers in Corinth who seemed to have it ALL (knowledge, spiritual gifts, and powerful signs and wonders). He said all of that was useless noise without love. It was falling short. 

The only thing that will NEVER fail you, he wrote, is love.

Now how about some spiritual wisdom from a farmer's son in Cambodia.

“I want to have compassion for people. I was really glad when Alongsiders came and I had a chance to choose a little brother.”

— Sarath

What an amazing desire this is: to have compassion. He recognized in Alongsiders an opportunity he didn't want to miss.

Sarath, the son of farmers, is a four year university student. His goal, when he graduates, is to start a business raising pigs. If you were to imagine a person of spiritual insight, you might not picture an aspiring pig farmer in rural Cambodia. But what Sarath desires - to have compassion for others - is great in the eyes of God, and it will not fail.

Jesus called himself the Son of Man, which simply means "the human." At Christmas we celebrate that Jesus was born as a baby. In that way, God became fully human among us. A mark of those who follow Jesus - here and now in this world where we live - is that they embrace being human; they plunge into human relationships; and they love people as the Father is doing. This is the way to the Father's heart.

As for Sarath, he became an Alongsider for a boy named Sokty. "He was different from the boys in the village," says Sarath. "He was really hungry for education, but his family had no money to support him. I spend time helping him with his homework. He doesn't have money to pay his teacher, but sometimes the church helps."

In Cambodia most teachers expect their students to bring a little money to school every day to "pay for the paper handouts." In this way, the teachers supplement their very low salaries. Teachers aren't supposed to require these payments, but it's very hard for students to refuse. Recently, Sarath went to speak with Sokty's teacher, and then the teacher agreed to visit Sokty's family to see for himself how poor they are. Sarath hopes the teacher will give Sokty an exception after this.

Besides school, Sokty has many chores at home, so he doesn't have much free time. He meets with Sarath two or three times per week. Then they read the lessons that Alongsiders provides, and they often pray together. Sokty says the support and encouragement he's received from Sarath have changed his life. He comes from a Buddhist family, but now he believes there is a God who loves him. 

When Christ became fully human, he didn't move away from his Papa's heart physically or relationally. He walked on human feet on dusty ground right into the center of it. I'm pretty sure Sarath, who sees that loving this one vulnerable neighbor is an opportunity, is on to something big. That many of us long for. Now may we have eyes to see it.

2 life lessons and a powerful challenge from a surprising source - but there's a catch

His story doesn't have a Hollywood ending, but you'll be surprised what you learn from this young man. 

His name is Ni. People who are like him, living at the margins in extreme poverty, rarely fit into a clickable narrative. They're slogging along in process, unresolved, longing for a good surprise and hoping to avoid disaster. Actually, most of us can relate.

But here's the difference. Somebody chose Ni.

Four years ago, a 19 year old named Sothana signed up to be an Alongsider. He was living in Takeo, a rural province south of Phnom Penh.

Looking around his community he saw Ni, a 12 year old boy in one of the poorest families in the village.

Ni had dropped out of school, and his prospects were dim. So Sothana chose him, to be his "little brother".

One year later, Ni's father died. He drank himself to death, dying slowly of ulcers that ravaged his gut. The family spent what money they had on treatment. Perhaps he was drinking cheap rice wine made in the villages, laced with methanol. At any rate, it was a hard way to go, and the family was left without their main provider.

"He was a good father," says Sothana. Not perfect, obviously, but Ni felt loved.

In fact, Sothana adds, he wasn't Ni's biological father. These stories seldom unfold all at once; they are like peeling the rings of an onion. When Ni was young, his birth mother left him with her sister and her husband, and they raised Ni as one of their own.

Ni was the oldest child, so after his adoptive father died he went to work to earn money for the family. They don't own land of their own (which is why they have been among the poorest of the poor in that farming community).

For the past three years, Ni has been hiring himself out to work for other farmers, taking any and every job he can get.

Did having an Alongsider change anything?

Ni (left) and Sothana (right) at the annual camp this month

Somehow, with encouragement from Sothana, Ni began attending school in his spare time. He's studying at the ninth grade level, but he can't afford any of the after-school classes that most students take. Those classes are important because the quality of teaching during school hours is low, and the students all have to pass exams eventually to graduate. 

He's conscious of the fact that he doesn't have specialized skills that might help him find better work in the future. Even if an organization covered the cost of training, he would still have to consider how his family would get by without him. The trickle of money he makes is their lifeline right now, until his siblings get older.

Yet Ni says having an Alongsider and being part of Sothana's church has made a difference. It's kakadao (warm and loving), he says. It's a word rich in emotion, a word little brothers and sisters often use to describe their relationships with their Alongsiders.

"Before I didn't spend time with others," he says, "because in my heart I felt that I was poor. I was afraid and lonely." 

One time when the roof of Ni's house collapsed during a torrential rain and ensuing flood, the church members came and helped repair it. All they could offer was a blue tarp roof, but it kept the family dry and helped them get through the crisis.

Last year Ni attended the Alongsiders annual camp for the first time. Previously he hadn't gone to camp because he worried about what would happen to his family if he was away for three days. "But when I went to camp," he says, "I saw lots of other kids like me. I got to know them, and I felt happy, so I wanted to come back again." This year was his second time to go.

Through it all he finds himself making more connections with others: with his Alongsider, with church members, with neighbors, and with other little brothers. It's a significant change for him, considering that he was so isolated before. Now he is sixteen, so he has started thinking about choosing his own little brother next year. But he worries about that, because he's still poor and lacking in viable skills. He feels like others still look down on him, and he questions whether he has anything valuable to offer a little brother. 

At the top of this post, I started by saying you'd be surprised at what Ni could teach you. Have you learned anything surprising yet from Ni's story? Here are two lessons we at Alongsiders take from it.

1. We know that real and lasting change is a process that plays out in the context of relationships. Those inspiring stories on Facebook often gloss over key details like: careers set aside, years of perseverance, untold hours in prayer, conflicts, emotional stress, and much more.  If you want the fruit, you may have to plant the tree and care for it as it grows. (See this previous post about why we don't emphasize the speed of change: 3 Practical ways 'slow and steady' changes the world.)
    
2. Ni has a list of reasons to doubt his capacity, but we believe strongly that he's qualified to serve as an Alongsider. You may doubt yourself; you may even doubt God. Admitting you don't have all the resources and answers is a great way to begin serving someone who is at the end of his or her rope: in a hospital, in a prison or juvenile hall, at a homeless shelter, or in a program for refugees. 

You'd be surprised what you could learn from Ni if you walked alongside him and shared his journey.  

But there's a catch...

You'd be surprised, inspired, shocked, amazed, confused, bothered, overwhelmed, and transformed, all these things! -  IF - and possibly only if - you stuck with it.

Sothana, Ni's Alongsider, says that through sharing his own journey over the long haul with Ni, he knows "true love" in a way he never knew it just by attending church or even in his own family. 

If you want all of that - ALL of it, the good and the bad - look around. God has a "Ni" already chosen for you, even as you breathe a prayer asking who it is. 

You'll be surprised.

How the parents of this "little sister" came to faith

“I saw her situation, and she was the same as me.”

— Saron, an Alongsider

Minea is thirteen years old. She has a gentle smile and doesn't shy away from my questions. Looking into her eyes, nothing appears to be seriously wrong with them. One eye is too red, that's all. Years ago her little sister was playing with a knife. She threw it, and Minea has only seen from her good eye since then.

Minea's family has often been a place of turmoil and violence. That's why it's so exciting that things are beginning to change...

Saron is eighteen. She asked Minea to be her little sister just over a year ago. They were neighbors at the time, but then Minea's family moved to a new home thirty minutes outside the city. It's hard for Saron to go there, because she doesn't feel safe traveling that far alone, but she visits Minea as often as she can.

Usually they read the latest Alongsiders comic and talk about it. Minea says it helps her to learn more about Jesus, and she likes the practical lessons. She feels stronger now than she did a year ago and more aware of Jesus' love. In the future she hopes to work in a bank.

Saron says she chose Minea because, "I saw her situation, and she was the same as me." 

It's a common thing for Alongsiders to say, and it's a powerful statement. Think about it. There are tens of thousands of vulnerable children in Cambodia, and each one is different. Every child has a unique story and individual challenges, and they live in thousands of local communities. How can we help them personally, wholistically and effectively?

That's a lot to hope for. There are some good organizations making a difference, but they can't work face-to-face with hundreds or thousands of children. But Alongsiders can, because Alongsiders live in the same local communities that the most vulnerable children call home - and most Alongsiders have faced similar challenges and vulnerabilities.

You may be asking, why did Saron identify with Minea?

Saron saw that Minea's parents were constantly fighting, hurling abuse at each other and also at Minea and her siblings. That's the same situation Saron grew up in, so she knew what Minea was enduring and wanted to walk through it with her.

Saron's pastor is a gifted and compassionate leader

And here is the good news: Minea's parents have been changing. This year they came to faith in Jesus. In the past few months, they have been fighting less and less, and they treat Minea much better than before.

This isn't something Saron brought about alone. Members of the church had begun reaching out to Minea's parents before Saron ever became an Alongsider. In fact, Saron's pastor was the one who suggested that Saron consider asking Minea to be her little sister.For the past few months, Saron has been able to visit Minea by catching rides with her pastor - who has been going faithfully to visit the family.

Change and healing come through relationships. When a church community - and a family and neighbors and an Alongsider - come together in love, the results can be transforming!

Of course, some situations resist change.

On the day I met Saron, she had received the results of her high school final examination earlier that morning. The high school exam is extremely important, and she had passed! It's a big deal, so I congratulated her, but she was sad. Her grade was low, and she was afraid to go home and face her parents. They haven't come to faith, and her home is still an angry and abusive environment. 

Saron hopes her passing grade will be enough to qualify her for a government sponsored nurse training program that educates tens of thousands of young Cambodian women each year.

I'm sure she would welcome your prayers, and Minea as well.

This Alongsider chose a "little sister" with unique challenges. The results are ordinary...and radical.

She has a winning smile, but Kheing Ly (13) has dealt with more and heavier challenges than most girls her age.

Being the daughter of a policeman in Cambodia has some advantages, like a stable income and a bit of respect in the community. Locals observing at a distance might even say Kheing is lucky in this way. But Kheing's father and mother fight whenever he is around, which is less and less, and Kheing has absorbed an unhealthy portion of their anger and verbal abuse. 

Kheing hurts in other less hidden ways. For one thing, she suffers from exotropia, what many call being cross-eyed. Her eyes don't align properly. The condition affects her focus and depth perception, and it gives her an awkward appearance.

When I met Kheing for the first time, at the  Alongsiders annual camp last November, I noticed that she didn't want to be in pictures. Every time I pointed my camera at her she looked upset, so I stopped (except when her friends pulled her into group shots). Later, when I was looking at my photos, I saw that she always posed with a peace sign in front of her face that covered up her wandering eye.

Even so Kheing was always with her Alongsider and her group of friends. Just a normal kid with problems, like all the other kids there.

But there was something I didn't know about Kheing until a few days ago when I visited her group of Alongiders at their church in Kampong Saom.

The church has about ten Alongsiders, and five of them had gathered to meet me. Kheing was surrounded by other little sisters, and her Alongsider, Paektra (21), sat next to her. Kheing was nervous but still smiling when I asked her my first question. Paektra looked straight at her, face-to-face, and repeated my words along with gestures until Kheing understood. And that's when I learned that Kheing is deaf. 

Kheing and Paektra

As you might imagine, there are limited services and resources for a deaf child in Cambodia. Deaf children are likely to be sent away or hidden and isolated. Ordinary Cambodians are not used to relating with them, or with people who have disabilities in general. 

But here was Kheing and a crowd of peers talking and miming and doing whatever it took for them to relate. 

She can read lips - a little. She's fortunate that there is a school for the deaf in Kampong Saom where she has been learning the lip reading as well as sign language. 

Paektra asked Kheing to be her little sister just over a year ago, because she could see that Kheing really needed someone. "The other children would pick on her and call her names when she went down the street," says Paektra, "and she was always alone."

Paektra lives in Kheing's neighborhood, so they see each other almost every day. When they get together they ride bicycles, take walks, read the latest Alongsider comic, or go to the beach. Sometimes they pray, which Kheing acknowledges with her face turning red and a smile. 

Later Paektra explains that the neighborhood kids don't pick on Kheing so much anymore. "I taught them how to treat her," she says. "They didn't know." So often the difference between being excluded or included is having a respected person stand up for you.

Two boys attempt to fly home made kites as some Alongsiders and their little brothers and sisters gather in front of the church. (Kampong Saom, Cambodia)

Kheing doesn't attend the Sunday church service. She can't understand the sermons, and the church is located in a different community. But Paektra is a living sermon, showing the way of Jesus to Kheing and bringing "church" to Kheing whenever they meet. "For where two or three are gathered in my name," says Jesus, "there am I among them."

The stories here, about Alongsiders and their little brothers and sisters, are beginning to show familiar patterns: loneliness and isolation overcome, encouragement and love given, courage and resilience gained, and the power of relationships in action. Perhaps the stories are becoming more  "ordinary" with repetition, but I never get tired of them.

Shane Claiborne is an American Christian activist who challenges us, by word and example, to stand with people who are marginalized in society. He calls out Christians to follow Jesus as "ordinary radicals."  To be radical, he says, is the ordinary state of one who is following Jesus. Ordinary people following Jesus change lives and change the world around them through their love in relationships.

“I think that’s what our world is desperately in need of - lovers, people who are building deep, genuine relationships with fellow strugglers along the way, and who actually know the faces of the people behind the issues they are concerned about.”

— Shane Claiborne (Irresistible Revolution)

 Paektra and many of the Alongsiders I've met are ordinary radicals.

 It doesn't take special people to change the world, just ordinary ones who love others in the way Jesus taught and showed us.

What if that kind of love was the new ordinary for you?

After 8 years he's looking for his third "little brother". You'll be surprised how ordinary he is.

Sorn may not seem like much. If you were in his community looking for a leader, or a game changer, a guy like Sorn might not turn your head. 

My guess is that ninety percent of us, if we passed Sorn on some dusty road in the province where he lives, wouldn't look twice - unless it was to dodge his slow moving cart filled with vegetables. It goes to show how much we miss.

A Cambodian man (not Sorn) transporting produce to market

Every morning at 3:30 or 4:30am Sorn wakes up, hitches his cart to his motorcycle, and goes around to local farmers buying vegtetables. He takes them to one of the nearby village markets and sells them until 2 or 3 in the afternoon. Every day except Sunday.

I say it's hard work. He shrugs and says it's normal. People in rural Cambodia do what it takes to get by. 

Unlike many of his peers, Sorn didn't move to one of the country's big cities after high school. He stuck around.

He doesn't give the details, but when he was young his father either left or died. Sorn's mother raised him with support from his grandfather, who is the pastor of their local church. His grandfather wanted Sorn to stick around, and he even helped Sorn find a wife who felt the same way. Two years ago they were married, and their first child was born fourteen days ago.

Sorn has been an Alongsider for eight years, since 2007, and he has had two little brothers. Both grew up and became Alongsiders themselves, and both are active in the church now. Sorn says he prayed carefully before choosing each one. He wanted to choose boys who would grow and mature into responsible, faithful adults. Both have done well. One had a brief problem with gambling but stopped after Sorn talked with him about it.

Now Sorn is praying and looking for a third little brother.

The country church in Kampong Thom that Sorn attends

Sorn has been a leader for the youth in the church for years, and now he is the leader of the Alongsiders group there. It's a challenge, as the majority of the young people grow up and leave for the cities. 

It would be easy to tell Sorn's story in a way that depicts him as larger than life, to describe him in poetic terms. Rather, let's just respect him as a human being with a full range of emotions and choices to make in the circumstances of his life. It's because Sorn is an ordinary-extraordinary man in his community that he can bring hope and change starting from within it.

Sorn and others like him and their relationships - not a program or NGO - are making a difference. Our movement and the tools we develop are NOT intended to work through them, or despite them, but to support them, to engage them, and to set them loose.

The secret of Sorn's humanity (and ours) is this: God works through him in love. The key to our movement is this: to respect him, support and equip him, and then get out of the way.

Why work with local churches?

I went to a rural church to follow-up with a group of Alongsiders, and I asked them how they chose their little brothers and sisters out of all the children in the community. One of the young women started to cry as she answered, and she said:

“I saw that one of the families in our community was suffering. The mother died, and the father went to Thailand to work and save money. Now the grandmother is raising all six children. I really wanted to help them, but I didn’t know what to do. After I heard about Alongsiders, I went and talked to the grandmother. I told her that I wanted to choose one of the girls to be my little sister, and she immediately said, ‘Yes!’”

Community children in a riverside village play and do chores at dusk.

Phearom relates this story. He's one of the national coordinators for Alongsiders Cambodia, and he's constantly networking with pastors and visiting churches to invite the youth to join the movement. 

His story is an illustration of why we work with local churches. 

The young woman had a heart of compassion, and she was already connected in her own village and aware of people in need there. She was poised to act, but she was waiting for an opening.

There are others like her, and there are many, many remote villages in Cambodia. How can an organization based in the capital reach and mobilize them?

The answer that makes the most sense, especially for a Christian organization, is to work through local churches. Local churches are already in place in hundreds of remote villages, and their members already have relationships and local knowledge that organizations coming from outside dream of having. And the local churches come with leaders and structures included.

They are resources hidden in plain site, often overlooked because they are - like their communities - small and seemingly isolated.  

Local churches aren't just gateways to villages, they provide critical backup for the Alongsiders. The little brothers and sisters don't just get the support and attention of one person, but they gain access to a community with varied gifts, wisdom, and resources.

When we work with a local church, the local church benefits.

Local churches are people, the Body of Christ with faces and names. Partnering with Alongsiders helps them practice evangelism in the truest sense: by embodying and proclaiming good news for people who are struggling and alone in their own communities.

Alongsiders is also discipleship in action, starting with the youth and young adults who participate (who are the majority in their churches). The young woman in the story above just needed encouragement to do something. As regular people like her take risks in faith and love, they will grow in Christ - and local churches will grow in healthy ways.

Finally, the communities benefit. Strengthening ties, building trust, and helping local people to face local problems together are all good development practices. Local churches can play a key role in serving their whole communities. 

Local men in a remote village work together to build a simple house.

Despite all of the big words, what Alongsiders actually do for their little brothers and sisters is simple, and simply transforming.

And...you can do it, too.

Does your Christian community divide evangelism, discipleship, justice, and compassion into separate categories? Neglect one or more of them? Or put them off by calling them specialized roles?

Put them all together in love by coming alongside someone isolated and in need of a friend or mentor. You can be a light at the margins of your community, and no need to go alone. Invite others to join in! 

There are also challenges in working with local churches. That sticky topic will be addressed in the next post!

5 steps to creating a life-changing comic

What does it take to create a comic book simple enough for a child to understand, but profound enough to spark change in that child's life?

What does it take to put a brand new comic book like that in the hands of every Alongsider mentor each month?

Truly, a significant amount of thought and work goes into each comic. Here's the process...

Step 1: The Topic Meeting

A comic book lesson begins life in a Topic Meeting with members of the Curriculum Development Team.

Team leader, Hitomi Gray, and her assistant, Puthida Bou, undertake the preliminary research: gathering background information, considering how the topic normally plays out culturally and counter-culturally in Cambodia, and prayerfully considering relevant Bible themes, stories or verses.

All this background data is brought to the Topic Meeting for prayer and further brainstorming with the rest of the team. By the end of that meeting, we have agreed on the main objectives of the lesson, and we have a good sense of where we want to go with it.

Step 2: The Storytelling Circle

The next step is to form a Storytelling Circle. Alongsider mentors (some who were "little brothers or sisters" formerly) are central to this storytelling gathering. The non-Cambodians take a back-seat role. It’s not that Westerners can’t contribute, but the Cambodians know best what story elements are the most authentic and compelling in their own culture. 

All of the comics are based on real-life experiences of poverty and struggle shared by the young people at this Storytelling Circle. Over the course of two or three hours, stories and lessons are crafted into engaging plots that can be told visually in just a few pages.

We make sure the story incorporates essential storytelling techniques such as conflict, drama, character development and clear messaging.

A recent story-telling circle in progress ... crafting a story on the topic of Fearlessness.

Step 3: The Artwork

Once the rough story is outlined on a whiteboard, Puthida, an accomplished artist herself, takes a photo of what has been imagined by the group. She then hand-draws, using electronic paper and pen, a detailed storyboard of the 10 pages for the comic.

Finally, the story is ready for the artist, a Cambodian pastor named Met Sokha. Puthida meets with Pastor Sokha and goes through each page to make sure he understands the story and her drawings and notes. 

Step 4: The Lesson Components

For the next week or so, while Pastor Sokha hand-paints each page (typically one day per page), Hitomi and Puthida develop relevant questions that the Alongsider mentors can discuss with their little brothers and sisters after reading the story. They also create one or two practical action steps to apply the lesson. These are essential, so that the lesson doesn't just remain as head knowledge.

For example:

1) with your Alongsider mentor write one short term goal and identify what you will need to sacrifice in order to attain it (in Perseverance, Lesson #10), or

2) list five adults who you can trust and who you will talk with if you are ever touched in an inappropriate way (in Good Touch/Bad Touch, Lesson #3).

Step 5: Design, Test Test Test and Print

When the artwork comes back from Pastor Sokha each page is carefully scanned in and edited using Adobe InDesign. Speech bubbles and story boxes are added and the various components laid out for printing.

The final product!

The draft comic is now ready for testing and correcting. Puthida takes the comic out and about to test with neighborhood children. We also test it with a small selection of Alongsider mentors and a couple of proofreaders. Any errors will hopefully be picked up at this stage, but we are mostly checking that the main message and story is easily understood.

When everything is checked and signed off, we work with a local printer to print the comic. All going well, we have the comics, printed and delivered to us two weeks later, ready for training and distribution!

These comics are gaining a following. Other organizations are taking notice. One NGO reprinted 10,000 copies for distribution in schools and we're supplying free copies to various schools, churches and orphanages.

And of course, the curriculum is now being translated back into English, as well as developed and contextualized locally in other countries such as India and Indonesia.

All this effort, prayer and hard work is for one purpose: the transformation of young lives. So, join us in praying that the Spirit of God will work in and through us, and these comics, as they find their way into eager hands across Asia.

A comic way of developing our greatest gift

Every three months Alongsider group leaders from several provinces around Cambodia gather at the office in Phnom Penh for training. These are moments to reconnect - and to equip, listen and provide them with fresh encouragement and direction.

“I came with my pastor. When we go back he will have a meeting with the other Alongsiders and teach them how to read the books with their little brothers and sisters.”

— Sokil (Kandal)

It's at these meetings that staff distribute the curriculum: always three new issues of our comic books for Alongsiders. The leaders look at each story and discuss how mentors can read them most effectively with their little brothers and sisters. Then they take them back to their groups to use for the next three months (1 comic book per month).

Each book comes with discussion questions and one practical way to act on the lesson in the story.

In a society that still struggles to provide most citizens with a meaningful education, it's no small step for an Alongsider to read and learn together with her little sister. We can't take it for granted that she'll know what to do or feel confident if we just put materials in her hands, so the training is vitally important.

Typically part of the training consists of the coordinators role playing how to read through the comic - eliciting questions and observations from the "little brother". These sessions are becoming increasingly interactive. There is always lots of discussion about the topic (whether drugs, gender, grace or some other Biblical theme). The recent meeting included lots of discussion in pairs. 

“I like the comics. The pictures are pretty and the stories are meaningful. They relate to real social issues and problems, and they lead the kids to learn and relate to God.”

— Sreymom (Phnom Penh)

Each comic has an insert with questions to discuss and one suggestion to act on the embedded lesson.

One of the comic books introduced last week focuses on how boys and girls are often valued differently and treated with different standards. The two main characters are twins, a boy and a girl. The conflict arises when the girl is treated badly by some boys who are (it is implied) looking at illicit images on a mobile phone.

The story resolves as the boy comes to realize that his sister and mother do most of the household work and deserve, at the very least, his respect and help. Then he begins to change his own actions accordingly.

The application activity encourages readers to compose letters of appreciation to their mother or female guardian. The supporting Bible passage is Psalm 139:14: "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well." We are all, male and female alike, wonderfully made by God and deserving of value and respect.

As movements go, there is no explicit call for revolution here. Yet, as in the gospels, seeds are being planted with the potential to transform not just lives but families and society as well. 

We often say that Alongsiders is a movement. Some movements are headed by high profile leaders. Others have flashy programs and structures. But Alongsiders is low key; our leaders come from the margins themselves; and our methods are so simple it's hard to spot them. This gathering of "unremarkable" leaders from "out of the way" places is about as "big" as it normally gets. 

The most tangible material assets we work with, comic books, are disposable (albeit strategic and lovingly developed) tools - but they feed and nurture our real strength: transforming relationships.

We're proud of our comic books. We're especially proud of the people who read them together.

Group leaders and Alongsiders at the training last week

This young leader faces a big dilemma. Her story will inspire you.

“I am less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.”

— Stephen Jay Gould

Chanthy is not average. She's really quite amazing and unique. She's an example of why we want to empower and release Cambodians to lead, rather than relying on the tired model of foreigners controlling the wheel.

As Stephen Jay Gould attests in the quote to the right, there are extraordinary people hidden just out of sight at the margins of society. 

Chanthy is a farmer's daughter with exceptional energy and capacity. Though few, perhaps, are quite like her, many capable yet unrecognized Cambodians are ready to love and lead in surprising ways.

Four months ago, Chanthy gathered a dozen or so youth from the rural church she pastors, and they all became Alongsider mentors together. She is the small group leader. On the day they officially signed up, she was charged with excitement as her new little sister stood beaming beside her. 

Chanthy, left, with six of the new Alongsiders from her community.

That evening she returned home after dark and helped her parents tend a tremendous pot of curry simmering over coals outside their house. It cooked all night, and the next morning they rose together before dawn to crack coconuts and squeeze the pulp, shell garlic, and add the final spices. About 6:30 a.m. people began arriving and leaving with enough delicious food to feed their families. They fed more than 200 people that day.

Chanthy's family isn't rich. They saved for months for that day. It was during the week of P'chum Ben, one of the most important Buddhist festivals in the country. As devout Buddhists, Chanthy's family had brought food to the local temple every year and given it to the monks. In theory, the food they gave was supposed to help feed the poor, but that didn't always happen. After coming to faith in Jesus, the family decided to continue to tradition, but they elected to give food directly to the poorest families in their community. 

This year was the first time they tried it.

Chanthy had come to faith first. She walked over to the Christian church to learn what Jesus was about, and she never turned back. That was just over a year ago, and it didn't go over well. "My parents scolded me," she says. It must have been a serious scolding, because she moved out of her home and slept at the church for three months. But it was her parents who relented, and soon after her whole family put their trust in Jesus as well.

Chanthy is a force that's hard to resist. At some point in her life she developed a very strong character. 

She was born in a refugee camp in Thailand. Her parents had fled there when Vietnam invaded Cambodia in 1979, and they stayed for the next twelve years. 

When the family returned to Cambodia they erected a shelter on a piece of land in an isolated village north of Phnom Penh, and they began the nearly impossible task of starting from nothing as rice farmers. After some years of hard-scrabble existence, the family desperately needed a break, and Chanthy provided it. She went to Malaysia, where she took a risk, employing herself as a nanny for a rich family. Many Cambodian nannies have endured tragic abuses, but fortunately Chanthy was hired by a good family. They paid fairly, and she even got to travel to Japan and Korea with her employer on business trips. When she returned home, she gave all the money she had saved to her parents, and they used it to build their house.

Now Chanthy is the assistant pastor at her church. The "real" pastor, she explains, lives in Phnom Penh and visits once a month. 

She doesn't receive a salary. She rises at 3 a.m. daily to help fix food for the family. Then she goes to a nearby high school where she spends the morning selling snacks to the students. She makes about $1.25 each day. 

On Sunday she drives a wide loop on her motorcycle and visits five "house churches." On the way, she buys a huge load of snack food using her earnings. At each stop, a crowd of children gather and listen to her share from the Bible. A few adults hover nearby, some listening and others idly chatting. When she finishes teaching, she distributes the snacks and moves on. 

Chanthy teaches young children from the Bible. Afterward a group of older youth took their place and Chanthy led them through a more advanced version of the same teaching. Chanthy is learning how to teach the Bible at a Bible school in the nearby city, and each week she teaches what she recently learned there.

"I love children," she says, and she repeats herself until she is sure she has made herself clear. "I really love children. People ignore them and treat them badly, especially poor children, but I love them." 

But later she admits she dreams of leaving the countryside, and she worries what will happen to the children without her. She points to the beauty all around and flatly states that she hates the crowded streets and noise of Phnom Penh. But she wants to learn more and expand her life. She feels, well, marginalized. "I'm not doing anything here, she says, oblivious to the incongruity in her words. 

Herein lies the challenge. The big dilemma.

Alongsiders is working with young leaders at the grassroots. They are doing things and going places foreign workers and even Cambodians schooled in the cities could hardly emulate or follow.

Yet they live in a world that tells them relentlessly, just as it tells us, that they are insignificant unless they land a particular kind of job or reach a certain status. If they shine as leaders, there are companies and big-budget organizations that will hire and take them away. 

But we will not be discouraged. Right now the work of enduring beauty and significance in the Kingdom of God is being done by Chanthy and her fellow Alongsiders!

We often celebrate the children of Alongsiders - the little brothers and sisters - but today we're grateful for the Alongsider leaders and mentors, who are more often than not young men and women who have grown up at the margins themselves.

May we have eyes to see them, a vision that includes and expands with them, and a willingness to trust them with it. And let us learn to walk with them without using or corrupting them (and that, in itself, is a challenge worthy of writing about another day).

Thank God for them, and pray that the Lord of the Harvest - who must have an affinity with farmers judging by the way Jesus taught and talked about Him - will raise up more amazing and unique leaders to serve as Alongsiders.

They might be giants

Four months ago I traveled by bus, boat, and motorcycle to Kampong Leng, a remote farming community north of Phnom Penh, to witness a group of new Alongsider mentors signing up with their newly chosen little brothers and sisters. A few days ago I went back to check on their progress, and this is what I saw. 

Even in the dry season, Kampong Leng is a lush, green country, especially for one accustomed to Phnom Penh's concrete skylines and motorcycle rivers. Most land in Kampong Leng that isn't covered in jungle or water is cultivated to grow rice and a dozen other crops. Fruit trees spring up everywhere, even on the school grounds. 

When I arrive at the local church, five of the Alongsider mentors are gathered to meet me with their little brothers and sisters. They have come from all directions, and one has traveled several miles on his bicycle.

Alongsiders with their little brothers and sisters and a few extras. Chanthy is wearing orange and white stripes. Piya and her little brother are on the right in yellow.

For the past four months these new Alongsiders have been meeting with their little brothers and sisters once a week on average. I ask whether meeting regularly is a challenge, and I receive an education.

Most families in Kampong Leng are rice farmers, though many are diversifying as family members start businesses, work in factories, and (in dream scenarios) get educated and find salaried jobs. Those families that subsist on farming alone are very poor, usually earning less than $1 per day according to Chanthy, the Alongsiders group leader in the community.

Farmers in Kampong Leng work through the dry season. They can't use the fields near to their homes, so they travel (or relocate) to rented fields closer to the retreating Mekong River. 

The little brothers and sisters all come from farming families, so their parents are on the move. Sometimes the children move with them.

The Alongsider mentors are also from farming families. Most are high school students. When they are not studying, they may attend extra classes to learn English or computer skills. Otherwise, if they have free time, they are expected to help their parents by working in the fields or at home. 

Making time for their little brothers and sisters, even once a week, is a significant gift - and an effective one!

After my last visit I wrote about Piya, an 11 year-old who cares for three younger siblings every day while her parents are away working. Recently, Piya has started attending school about three days a week. In order for her to study, her mother will stay home in the mornings until Piya returns to look after her siblings. 

Piya's mother wants her daughter to attend school. The greatest obstacle for Piya isn't time or even money: it's the shame.

Chanthy says, "Cambodians don't like poor children." She repeats the words, to make sure I understand, and adds, "Only the Christians love poor children, but not all the Christians do." 

Piya, like many of the poorest children, doesn't have a school uniform, just a set or two of worn out clothes, plus she lacks basic school supplies like notebooks and pens.

When she attends school without a uniform or proper materials, the other children treat her with contempt, so she doesn't want to go. She has only started attending recently due to her Alongsider's strong encouragement.

I had thought that Piya's circumstances were unique, but as I listen to the Alongsiders share, I realize most of their little brothers and sisters face similar challenges. Most would not be attending school regularly without the support of their Alongsiders.

One little sister goes to school, then she walks one-and-a-half hours to join her parents at their rented rice field. They walk home together in the evening.

So what do the Alongsiders do with their little brothers and sisters? Most spend two or three hours together and do similar activities.

• They eat together.
• They help with homework and reading and writing Khmer.
• Some read the Bible together.
• Most of the Alongsiders have taken their little brothers and sisters to buy school supplies using their own money.
• Most of the Alongsiders help their little brothers and sisters to thoroughly clean themselves and wash their clothes. 
• All the Alongsiders pray for their little brothers and sisters in their personal prayer times, and some pray for them directly.

Some Alongsiders have been able to bring their little brothers and sisters to church, but for many this is not yet possible. The distance is great, and the parents of the children (who are not Christians) work on Sundays and need their children at home or in the fields.

But through their actions and prayers, they are extending the Body of Christ to their little brothers and sisters where they are.

I leave with an enlarged vision, inspired and challenged by these amazing Alongsiders. In the eyes of the world - and even in their own eyes - they are marginalized. Yet they are most significant and central in the eyes of God, giants in the real Kingdom.

The gospel expressed in love looks like this

Lijieng is twelve years old, a daughter of farmers in Kampong Chhnang province, two hours drive from Phnom Penh. Recently her entire family came to faith in Jesus.

That is not typical in rural Cambodia, where villages are steeped in the culture of Buddhism and indigenous beliefs about spirits and nature. And farmers, who don't want to upset the delicate balance of things - nature, community relationships, and religious traditions - are the most conservative about change.

"What happened?" is a fair question.

Chanoo came to faith in Jesus herself three years ago, and she recently became an Alongsider mentor. She looked around in her immediate area and chose her neighbor, Lijieng, to be her little sister. 

Lijieng's parents recognized their daughter's need and gave their approval. They both work many hours a day, and they rely on Lijieng to cook and care for her two year-old sister and handle numerous other chores. Lijieng needed the support.

Chanoo has been a Christian long enough to be familiar with the call to share her faith with others. But Alongsiders didn't send her out with any evangelism program or method, just an admonition to love and encourage her little sister.

Here's what she says.

“I see Lijieng every day. Sometimes I help her with school work. I want her to learn and to eventually have a good job.”

Such a simple summary may not sound spiritual, but it goes to the heart of Lijieng's undeniable needs. She explains herself in similar fashion, "I have hope for the future, because I want to be educated."

Alongsider mentor: Meth Chanoo

Lijieng's parents saw how Chanoo related with their daughter, and they watched how Lijieng responded. Another neighbor had previously come to faith, and they listened to her testimony as well. And somewhere on the way, between these relationships and visiting the local church, they came to faith along with their daughter.

No grand strategy was realized; this was just faith working itself out in love.

Chanoo felt happy for them, and it encouraged her. "I have to be ready," she says, "and confident about what I believe." She started by putting her faith in action, and now she is more willing and able to express her faith in words. 

This is an essential part of what Alongsiders is about: the gospel expressed in love, shared between neighbors, starting with vulnerable children and impacting families and communities.

A day in the life of our Alongsiders staff

I am an observer, along for the ride, when a startled cow rams our motorbike.

To get to this point, we have already traveled by bus, boat, and motorbike to a remote village north of Phnom Penh. Our plan today is to register some new Alongsiders.

Phearom, who is on staff with Alongsiders Cambodia, is my guide.

As we hop on the backs of motorbikes driven by our hosts, we are heading towards a house church twenty minutes away.  

Halfway there my driver startles a cow who does not take kindly to being disturbed. The cow lowers its shoulder, snorts, and RAMS into us - nearly sending us flying! Thankfully, my driver handles the bovine battering with style and no harm is done.  

About 25 young adults and children are waiting for us on arrival. Their leader is a young woman with a gentle spirit and a quick wit who wastes no time chiding the children to practice their English with the foreigner. 

Phearom is warm - chatting and laughing with the youth and children. Everyone is excited. You can feel it in the air.

Phearom uses a low-end Samsung tablet to enter the names and details of the new Alongsiders and their little brothers and sisters in an Android app. Each participant is photographed. This information is then uploaded to an online database when he has wifi access.

Today is the day we officially become Alongsiders.

Today is the day I become a little brother.

Today is the day I become a little sister!

After the cheerful banter, Phearom sits down in a blue plastic chair and receives a stack of application forms. The nervous new mentors with their chosen little brothers and sisters line up to meet him.

The intake process begins.

Today we're not only scheduled to work here, but also at a church down the road where another small crowd of eager young Christians is waiting for us at dusk.

As the light fades to dark, we finally finish up the last intakes using a florescent light powered by a car battery.

Despite the angry cow, the lack of electricity, the dusty roads and distance from the city, it's been a good day. A very good day.

The start of something significant.

Who REALLY connects with the poorest of the poor? You'll be surprised by the answer...

Discarded himself. Phea knows the value of things others see fit to discard. 

Every day he took to the streets with a rice sack slung over his shoulder looking for rubbish that he could sell: plastic bottles, cardboard, cans, scrap metal, or broken items that could be repaired. 

Some called him names as he made his rounds. Others physically accosted him.  They didn't see value of a kid in tattered clothes sifting through the garbage.

One day as he worked he came across a group of excited children and youth. They were Alongsider mentors with their little brothers and sisters waiting for transportation to the annual Alongsiders camp. Phea saw that some were neighbors, not unlike himself, and he asked if he could go with them. They said he had to have an Alongsider mentor, and it was too late for that. But someone invited him to the local church to learn more. 

Phea went to the church. He says, "I never got my own Alongsider - I was too old.  But instead I found faith."  So, he kept attending the church, and when he turned 18 he applied to become an Alongsider mentor himself. 

Phea and Virek swimming at a local water park.

As his little brother, Phea chose a boy named Virek who had sometimes accompanied him collecting rubbish to sell. Virek's father died years ago, and his mother is living with a terminal illness. In addition to being very poor, even compared to other families in the slum, her sickness casts a stigma over her and her children. They stay with Virek's grandmother just up the alley from where Phea lives.

Having faced rejection, Phea knew Virek needed encouragement. Just around the corner from Virek's home is an Internet cafe where some boys gather who have dropped out of school. They work the streets a few hours each day and spend what money they earn or steal on video games, alcohol, and other diversions.

Life is hard in the slum, but it's most dangerous when youth lose hope and stop trying. 

Through Phea's friendship and support, Virek returned to school. Now he is studying in the eighth grade. Though it's uncomfortable for him to talk about the future, he thinks about becoming a teacher.

So who really connects with the poorest of the poor?

Foreign workers, volunteers, and organizations are almost always on the outside looking in. Even local organizations are located, funded, and led from outside the places where the poorest of the poor live.  

Virek is sensitive and reserved. His emotions are hidden. He's vulnerable and knows it. His story comes out slowly in two or three word phrases. I can imagine a foreign worker or volunteer being drawn to Virek, trying to unearth his mysteries, and coaxing out a smile or two. 

Phea knows what goes on behind the smile. He knows the hurt. He connects deeply with Virek because he is alongside of Virek in every way.

Phea and Virek enjoying a meal together.

Here at Alongsiders we say, "It takes a spider to repair it's own web." 

The poorest of the poor are uniquely situated to connect with and support each other. They "get it" where others don't.

Sadly, there are divisions among the poor themselves: fault lines of mistrust, power, and fear. So the poor often feel alone and isolated even in their own communities.

Alongsider mentors like Phea are crossing those lines. 

They connect with the poorest of the poor. 

And they are not just connecting with their little brothers and sisters. They are connecting with families and building bridges of trust within their communities so that others can follow.

The ONE thing everyone overlooks about poverty

We listen to stories.

In particular, we listen to the stories of vulnerable children.

And after hearing so many stories of children in difficult circumstances, a recurring theme began to emerge - something most people overlook about poverty.

You may be thinking children's main experience of poverty, the thing that impacted them most, would be:

• a lack of money for basic necessities
• only a single set of clothes to wear
• skipped meals and feeling hungry, or
• having to work from a very young age

All these answers are true in given cases, but they only tell part of the story.

Poverty is bigger and deeper than what we see. It affects family and community relationships, and it can threaten to derail the most basic needs of children. The needs that, when met, help them grow into healthy adults. In particular, a sense of belonging and personal significance.

Isolation.

   Rejection.

      Exclusion.

These themes come up again and again in the stories we hear from young people who have grown up in poverty.

“I was alone.”

"I had no one I could trust."

“Nobody cared for me.”

“People looked down on me and treated me badly.”  

The most hidden and misunderstood aspect of poverty is how it breaks and weakens relationships, leaving children (and adults) alone, rejected, fearful and emotionally wounded.

That's why the approach that Alongsiders takes to poverty is relational. The work that the Alongsider mentors are doing is transforming children and their families and communities on every level, including the level of emotional health, and it’s exciting to see in action.

Alongsider mentors are young adults who have themselves grown up in poor communities. They choose “little brothers and sisters” from their own communities - unrelated kids who are in vulnerable situations - and set out to love and mentor them as if they were family. 

“The most important thing I learned from my Alongsider was love.
I know God loves me, because she loved me.”

--a former little sister, now an Alongsider mentor

We hear many stories about the impacts made by Alongsiders, and so many of them revolve around love and friendship overcoming isolation and rejection. But stories, even inspiring ones, are not hard to gather. We wanted to dig deeper and better understand how Alongsiders are changing the lives of little brothers and sisters.

Last year, we decided to survey a large group of little brothers and sisters from several provinces across Cambodia. The questions were carefully chosen and worded.

The same survey was given to an equal number of similar children in the same communities who are not being mentored by Alongsiders (a control group). All of this was done using objective research methods by an independent team. 

What we learned was very encouraging. Having an Alongsider makes a significant difference in the lives of the little brothers and sisters.  You can see the full report here.

The little brothers and sisters clearly perceive a positive effect on their emotional wellbeing. We hoped so, since the work of Alongsiders is founded on loving relationships, and it was a welcome confirmation. This is just one snapshot of what is happening. Again, you can see all the numbers in our 2013 impact assessment here.

How encouraging that Cambodian youth are the ones changing the lives of Cambodian children!   And it's not just children who are changing. Families, communities, churches, and the Alongsiders themselves are being transformed in the process. It's all the more encouraging that these youth, who have grown up in poverty, have become mentors empowered to serve out of their own experience of marginalization.

Spiritual transformation starts here

Bob Goff, author of Love Does, likes to say, "No one really gets discipled, they get loved; we learn what we see, not what we only hear about."

That's why we're reluctant to reduce the Alongsiders relationship to a study program or a curriculum. Truly it is love. And this love inevitably bears spiritual fruit. For if we experience another person loving us, then we are better able to understand that there is a God who loves us too.

‘My Alongsider showed me so much love when she comforted me when my parents were angry with me’. - Little Sister, Takeo Province

Recently, we asked our little brothers and sisters a few questions about their faith, and we asked questions of a control group as well. All up - we interviewed over 330 young people.

The study results show that something encouraging is stirring within the hearts of hundreds of little brothers and sisters across Cambodia. There is not only emotional, social and educational impact. There is spiritual growth too:

So how does it work? How does spiritual transformation begin?

Alongsider mentors are especially motivated to reach out to children who are neglected, orphaned and struggling. Such children typically experience feelings of hopelessness, abandonment and rejection.

As a relationship with their mentor develops, they are welcomed into the church family. In fact, 94% of our little brothers and sisters freely choose to become part of the local church. Through that loving community they gain a crucial support network and sense of belonging.

They learn that God loves them. And they begin to experience spiritual transformation.

Jesus taught us to welcome children into our midst. And he showed us the way to disciple and mentor others - by spending lots of time together, walking, talking and eating together. His methods of discipleship were not merely dry academic study. Instead, Jesus shared life with his disciples. They laughed, cried and ministered together.

Through the example of their Alongsider mentors, hundreds of children are experiencing that radical welcome and responding with joy. They understand that they are cared for and loved by God, both day-to-day and forever. They know that they are not alone. Because someone walks alongside them, Jesus-style.

[Research results mentioned above come from the Alongsiders Impact Assessment 2013. ]