The Sunday School Movement transformed the lives of poor kids. It's time for another movement...

Sunday Schools were not always a thing. 

The very first Sunday Schools were established in England in 1780 to reach out to poor, illiterate children working under brutal conditions in factories. These classes taught basic reading and writing, as well as Biblical principles. Millions of children were reached.

The Industrial Revolution was in full swing. So most lower class children spent all week toiling in factories. Working hours were long and it wasn't until 1802 that a law was passed restricting the amount of time a child could work each day to just 12 hours!

Saturday was part of the regular work week, so Sunday was the only available time for poor children to gain some education. At this time there was no public school system.

Out of this desperate need, came something beautiful.

Two Christian men, William King and Robert Raikes, wanted to help these kids, and so they started the first Sunday Schools in their own home towns, Dursley and Gloucester. 

As they spread the word, more churches caught the vision and energetically began to create Sunday schools. Within a short space of time, the movement had become extremely popular. The movement reached 250,000 children across England within 5 years, and over the next 50 years more than 2 million kids attended Sunday School as the movement spread to the US and beyond.

Sunday Schools quickly became a core part of almost every church program. By the mid-19th century, Sunday school attendance was a near universal aspect of childhood. Even parents who did not regularly attend church themselves generally insisted that their children go to Sunday school.

Impoverished families were grateful for an opportunity to receive an education. They also enjoyed annual highlights such as prize days, parades, and picnics, which came to mark the calendars of their lives as much as the traditional seasonal holidays.

This was truly a movement that arose within the church to bless and serve vulnerable children.

Its legacy continues today, though the universal expectation that children would attend Sunday School has faded over the past few decades.

An Alongsiders meeting in Cambodia - a fast growing new movement to equip youth to reach out to vulnerable children.

As I've studied the history of the Sunday School movement, it strikes me that the world desperately needs another church-led movement for children.

The church desperately needs a new strategy and simple tools to reach its neighbours.

And that's where the Alongsiders movement comes in...

With the simple, yet powerful idea that EVERY young Christian could walk alongside a vulnerable child in their own community...

That these young Christians would form themselves into groups and call themselves "Alongsiders"...

What we need today is another movement of the Spirit for our most vulnerable kids.

A movement that might just change the world.

As the Alongsiders discipleship movement spreads through Asia and Africa, and now into Central America and the Middle East, join us in praying that more children would be reached.

The time is now.

They make the most important decisions in any Alongsiders movement

The most important decisions in the Alongsiders movement aren't made in a North American headquarters, but under a hot tin roof in the rural villages and urban slums of Asia and Africa.

They're made every time an Alongsiders coordinator shares the vision with youth in a local church, and they decide to become Alongsiders.

These young Christians pray and decide for themselves who they should choose as their "little brother" or "little sister". Then they form a group, and decide who should be their group leader. 

Before these most important decisions are made, or even considered, coordinators have gone out and connected with pastors one at a time. And as you may guess, that's easy to say and hard to do. To connect with many local churches, coordinators have to bridge gaps and adapt to diverse styles, structures, rules, and personalities. Then they persevere and do it again and again. 

What we've found over time is that the churches that respond most positively to the Alongsiders movement aren't the most "successful" mega-churches. They're more often small local churches in economically poor, rural communities off the beaten track. And the youth who make the best Alongsiders are the ones who can say, "I chose him, because he was like me."

If I can connect with a rural church, most of the time they will want start an Alongsiders group there." - Phearom Mark, Alongsiders Cambodia Coordinator

The big urban churches in the towns and cities are often more distracted. The pastors and members tend to busy with other programs and events. Certain programs are supported by foreign donors. Once pastors have been exposed to donor money, some will look for programs that keep it coming. And the Alongsiders movement doesn't do that.

Last week I went with Phearom, one of the two coordinators in Cambodia, to visit an Anglican church in a rural village almost three hours from Phnom Penh. It was like countless villages, an anonymous turn off the highway and down a narrow dirt road lined with wooden homes of farmers. When we arrived, we found eleven youth waiting to sign up as Alongsiders. 

They had each made the choice to become Alongsider mentors after Phearom visited and shared the vision in November. What a sight it was to see them all and hear their stories!

One said he was so excited when he heard they could become an Alongsider. He immediately chose his little brother, a boy who has lived with his uncle ever since his parents abandoned him. His new Alongsider says, "I chose him because I knew I could help him."

The village is literally being left behind. The youth are growing up and going to the cities work or study. Even Cambodians might say this is a "failing" community and view it with distaste. So is a local church in a "failing" community also "failing"? What would that say about the youth who stay there? 

The truth is, we saw the Kingdom of God visible in these eleven youth who aren't too busy to walk (or ride a motorbike) with a vulnerable child.

He was excited when Alongsiders came to his church and immediately went out and found this boy to be his little brother.

This is the kind of success we get excited about. Local churches like this one, whose pastors and members identify with being vulnerable themselves, are the leading edges of Alongsider movements.

They resonate with these words Paul used to describe himself and his coworkers:

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. (2 Cor 4:7-10, ESV)

The most important decisions in the Alongsiders movement are made by those at a grassroots level who live and learn these lessons every day.

The most important decisions are made by those willing to pay the cost of walking alongside those who walk alone. They are the poor, the marginalized, the young and the overlooked.

Glory be to God for this treasure in jars of clay.

3 keys for longevity in a discipleship movement

The Alongsiders discipleship movement in Cambodia has been growing for more than 12 years. During that time we have learnt a number of lessons about what it takes to grow and sustain such a movement.

Serey Choeng, leader of the Alongsiders Cambodia movement

One of the earliest leaders in the movement, Serey Choeng, has embodied many of those lessons in her own journey. So, let's examine her life growing up in a Phnom Penh slum community and from there, share some lessons learned along the way.

The community where Serey grew up shares a narrow alley with houses packed tightly on either side. When she was a child, the floodwater during the rainy season mixed with sewage from an open channel just behind the last houses. The fouled water would rise above her head and flow into the homes from below. The neighbors would build rickety walkways over it, but you couldn't avoid it. You waded in it; some children swam in it.

Life in the slum was messy.

Serey's community [Photo taken in 2005]

Drugs were bought and sold in the shadows, and neighbors drank and gambled outside in the evenings. The pathway forked at a point near Serey's home, and one way led to a row of brothels, of which one or two remain today. Most of the people were simply working hard to feed their families, trying to get ahead if they could. They worked construction, ran micro-businesses, or labored in factories.

Three days a week, during the hours when she wasn't in school, Serey would throw an empty rice sack over her shoulder and walk the streets, gathering items from the trash that she could sell to the recyclers: mainly cardboard, plastic bottles, and cans. Her mother went house-to-house every day, pulling a cart that got heavier by the kilometer. She bought old and broken appliances, housewares, and anything else that she could sell, including whatever the recyclers were buying. 

Serey's auntie, who lived a few houses away, worked as a housekeeper for a foreign family. She was unmarried, had a reliable income, and owned her house. She saw the plight of her sister's family and decided to help, so she took Serey into her home. She was very strict and critical, and Serey felt like it was a hard life living there. She went with her auntie to work sometimes, and she learned how to clean houses and cook. When she was sixteen, she got her own job as a housekeeper, and she impressed the foreign lady who employed her with her hard work.

Serey was the first one in her family to come to faith. She began attending a church that only had five or six members. They met in one small room of a home along the alley. That's where she first heard of Project HALO.

The letters stood for Hope, Assistance, and Love for Orphans. It was a ground-breaking program that tried to keep children orphaned by AIDS together with their remaining families (with a surviving parent, grandparents, or other relatives). They also had one of the first foster care programs in Cambodia.

When the representative came to Serey's church, he said they were looking for Christian youth to serve as mentors, to be like “big brothers and sisters” for orphaned children. By that time, the little church had about ten youth, and most of them signed up. “At first I joined to have fun,” Serey says. “But later it was because I wanted to help, because I knew how the kids felt.”

Serey was one of the first Alongsiders, and part of the second wave of youth who joined the movement. Previously, the leaders had asked youth living outside the slum to become mentors, but those mentors had really struggled. For one thing, they were afraid that their motorcycles would be stolen while parked in the alley. They were essentially middle class Cambodians, and the slum was a foreign place to them.

But for Serey, the slum was her home, and she had a better idea what the kids in Project HALO were going through.

When Serey first became a mentor, she was assigned to a girl whose mother had AIDS. “I tried to get to know her,” she says, “but she was withdrawn and didn't speak much. One time we went to camp, and I felt like I got to know her better through that. She really suffered at home, because her mother was sick and they had so little support.” Serey never formed a strong bond with this first little sister, and then the girl and her mother moved away. 

This was another lesson the leaders of Alongsiders learned in those days. It was better if youth joining the movement chose their own little brothers and sisters. The Alongsiders needed more freedom to find a child they could relate to, and it was important for them to own the relationship. 

Serey and Neang early in their relationship

Serey wanted to continue being an Alongsider, so she prayed about who to choose next. She saw many needy children, but she finally picked the one who was “most like me.” Neang was six years old. She lived with her mother and grandmother just a few houses down. They were very poor, as were most of the local children. What caught Serey's attention was that Neang didn't have any friends. She was very quiet and lonely.

Serey naturally saw Neang every day, and two or three times per week, she would sit down and talk with her.  When she was eleven, Neang came to faith. By that time, Serey's parents and auntie had all come to faith, and they had all joined the local church. Neang's older sister, who had an Alongsider mentor as well, became a Christian, too. 

In July of 2006, Serey was invited to became the third leader of the Alongsiders Cambodia movement. She was still working as a housekeeper with proven integrity, and she had become a faithful and capable leader in her church. Most importantly, she personally understood what Alongsiders was about. She prayed for three weeks before accepting the position. A co-worker was hired at the same time, and the two worked well together. The movement started to grow, and within two years they had mobilized nearly three hundred Alongsiders plus an equal number of little brothers and sisters.

Serey training Alongsiders and their little brothers and sisters at an Alongsiders camp

It's good to reflect on our history. We're grateful to celebrate leaders like Serey, and it helps us remember why we do things the way we do. Reflecting on where we have come from also allows us to distill lessons learned along the way so that others can avoid making the same mistakes. So, here are 3 key lessons from Serey's story...

1. The Principle of Prayer

In Matthew 9, it says Jesus went out into the towns and villages, and crowds of people showed up, but they were "like sheep without a shepherd." So he told the disciples to pray for workers, because the harvest was plentiful. Where do the workers come from? We believe the workers are there, in the towns and villages and slums, and we're praying that God will raise them up because that is how He commanded us to approach the task. And God is doing that as we mobilize, equip, and release Alongsiders.

From early on, Serey recognized the power of prayer, first in her own life as she prayed for God to show her who to choose as her little sister, and then later as she rose to lead the movement, as she prayed for guidance and more Alongsiders. 

2. The Principle of Proximity 

A major turning point came when the early leaders chose to mobilize Alongsiders from local churches inside the communities, rather than recruiting mentors from outside the community who would travel in. If we want to see young people who know how to follow Jesus in everyday life, we need to disciple them in everyday life. That's why proximity is a key. Little brothers and sisters need to see their Alongsiders in action, in every day situations - not just parachuting into the community for a classroom discipleship experience.

Serey herself was part of the new wave of Alongsiders recruited to serve within their own communities. She saw firsthand the fruit of that approach and has applied that lesson to help the movement grow.

3. The Principle of Empowerment

Likewise, it made all the difference when Alongsiders were allowed to choose their own little brothers and sisters. Besides allowing them to own the relationships, we've recognized that young people becoming mentors need to make choices and take responsibility. This is good for the movement, and it's part of their own growth and development as humans and disciples. Like Serey, many have embraced this process. We've often heard about new Alongsiders praying for days or even weeks before choosing a little brother or sister.  

Serey and Neang today

Taken together, these keys to longevity were essential for Alongsiders to change from being a centrally planned, managed, and scripted project to being a movement owned, powered, and initiated by leaders and disciples at the margins.

How might these lessons inform the discipleship movement you are part of?

How to find intimacy with God this Christmas - a lesson from an Alongsider

Most Christians I know want a more intimate relationship with God, but most of us, when we strive to have a closer relationship with God, struggle to find it.

Again and again it seems the things we do to draw closer to God fall short. It's as though the intimate relationship we seek is a mirage that recedes before us. 

Or we experience intimacy with God in a wonderful moment, but then it passes. So we throw ourselves back into prayer, worship, Bible study, or the next big event longing for a breakthrough.

What we don't appreciate is that God has already closed the gap and is with us. We don't see this, because we're focused on ourselves or off in the distance where we think Jesus is.

No one has known the heart of the Father better than Jesus. He  said that he always did what his "Abba" (Papa) was doing. How we long for that kind of relationship, and yet it's right in front of us. We can talk about how Jesus woke up early to pray, or about signs and wonders he did, but we can never say Jesus was searching somewhere "out there" for intimacy with God. He didn't go looking for spiritual experiences, because he was constantly running into real people and loving them with the gifts and resources he had.

That's what his Papa was doing.

Consider the words of Paul to a group of believers in Corinth who seemed to have it ALL (knowledge, spiritual gifts, and powerful signs and wonders). He said all of that was useless noise without love. It was falling short. 

The only thing that will NEVER fail you, he wrote, is love.

Now how about some spiritual wisdom from a farmer's son in Cambodia.

“I want to have compassion for people. I was really glad when Alongsiders came and I had a chance to choose a little brother.”

— Sarath

What an amazing desire this is: to have compassion. He recognized in Alongsiders an opportunity he didn't want to miss.

Sarath, the son of farmers, is a four year university student. His goal, when he graduates, is to start a business raising pigs. If you were to imagine a person of spiritual insight, you might not picture an aspiring pig farmer in rural Cambodia. But what Sarath desires - to have compassion for others - is great in the eyes of God, and it will not fail.

Jesus called himself the Son of Man, which simply means "the human." At Christmas we celebrate that Jesus was born as a baby. In that way, God became fully human among us. A mark of those who follow Jesus - here and now in this world where we live - is that they embrace being human; they plunge into human relationships; and they love people as the Father is doing. This is the way to the Father's heart.

As for Sarath, he became an Alongsider for a boy named Sokty. "He was different from the boys in the village," says Sarath. "He was really hungry for education, but his family had no money to support him. I spend time helping him with his homework. He doesn't have money to pay his teacher, but sometimes the church helps."

In Cambodia most teachers expect their students to bring a little money to school every day to "pay for the paper handouts." In this way, the teachers supplement their very low salaries. Teachers aren't supposed to require these payments, but it's very hard for students to refuse. Recently, Sarath went to speak with Sokty's teacher, and then the teacher agreed to visit Sokty's family to see for himself how poor they are. Sarath hopes the teacher will give Sokty an exception after this.

Besides school, Sokty has many chores at home, so he doesn't have much free time. He meets with Sarath two or three times per week. Then they read the lessons that Alongsiders provides, and they often pray together. Sokty says the support and encouragement he's received from Sarath have changed his life. He comes from a Buddhist family, but now he believes there is a God who loves him. 

When Christ became fully human, he didn't move away from his Papa's heart physically or relationally. He walked on human feet on dusty ground right into the center of it. I'm pretty sure Sarath, who sees that loving this one vulnerable neighbor is an opportunity, is on to something big. That many of us long for. Now may we have eyes to see it.

2 life lessons and a powerful challenge from a surprising source - but there's a catch

His story doesn't have a Hollywood ending, but you'll be surprised what you learn from this young man. 

His name is Ni. People who are like him, living at the margins in extreme poverty, rarely fit into a clickable narrative. They're slogging along in process, unresolved, longing for a good surprise and hoping to avoid disaster. Actually, most of us can relate.

But here's the difference. Somebody chose Ni.

Four years ago, a 19 year old named Sothana signed up to be an Alongsider. He was living in Takeo, a rural province south of Phnom Penh.

Looking around his community he saw Ni, a 12 year old boy in one of the poorest families in the village.

Ni had dropped out of school, and his prospects were dim. So Sothana chose him, to be his "little brother".

One year later, Ni's father died. He drank himself to death, dying slowly of ulcers that ravaged his gut. The family spent what money they had on treatment. Perhaps he was drinking cheap rice wine made in the villages, laced with methanol. At any rate, it was a hard way to go, and the family was left without their main provider.

"He was a good father," says Sothana. Not perfect, obviously, but Ni felt loved.

In fact, Sothana adds, he wasn't Ni's biological father. These stories seldom unfold all at once; they are like peeling the rings of an onion. When Ni was young, his birth mother left him with her sister and her husband, and they raised Ni as one of their own.

Ni was the oldest child, so after his adoptive father died he went to work to earn money for the family. They don't own land of their own (which is why they have been among the poorest of the poor in that farming community).

For the past three years, Ni has been hiring himself out to work for other farmers, taking any and every job he can get.

Did having an Alongsider change anything?

Ni (left) and Sothana (right) at the annual camp this month

Somehow, with encouragement from Sothana, Ni began attending school in his spare time. He's studying at the ninth grade level, but he can't afford any of the after-school classes that most students take. Those classes are important because the quality of teaching during school hours is low, and the students all have to pass exams eventually to graduate. 

He's conscious of the fact that he doesn't have specialized skills that might help him find better work in the future. Even if an organization covered the cost of training, he would still have to consider how his family would get by without him. The trickle of money he makes is their lifeline right now, until his siblings get older.

Yet Ni says having an Alongsider and being part of Sothana's church has made a difference. It's kakadao (warm and loving), he says. It's a word rich in emotion, a word little brothers and sisters often use to describe their relationships with their Alongsiders.

"Before I didn't spend time with others," he says, "because in my heart I felt that I was poor. I was afraid and lonely." 

One time when the roof of Ni's house collapsed during a torrential rain and ensuing flood, the church members came and helped repair it. All they could offer was a blue tarp roof, but it kept the family dry and helped them get through the crisis.

Last year Ni attended the Alongsiders annual camp for the first time. Previously he hadn't gone to camp because he worried about what would happen to his family if he was away for three days. "But when I went to camp," he says, "I saw lots of other kids like me. I got to know them, and I felt happy, so I wanted to come back again." This year was his second time to go.

Through it all he finds himself making more connections with others: with his Alongsider, with church members, with neighbors, and with other little brothers. It's a significant change for him, considering that he was so isolated before. Now he is sixteen, so he has started thinking about choosing his own little brother next year. But he worries about that, because he's still poor and lacking in viable skills. He feels like others still look down on him, and he questions whether he has anything valuable to offer a little brother. 

At the top of this post, I started by saying you'd be surprised at what Ni could teach you. Have you learned anything surprising yet from Ni's story? Here are two lessons we at Alongsiders take from it.

1. We know that real and lasting change is a process that plays out in the context of relationships. Those inspiring stories on Facebook often gloss over key details like: careers set aside, years of perseverance, untold hours in prayer, conflicts, emotional stress, and much more.  If you want the fruit, you may have to plant the tree and care for it as it grows. (See this previous post about why we don't emphasize the speed of change: 3 Practical ways 'slow and steady' changes the world.)
    
2. Ni has a list of reasons to doubt his capacity, but we believe strongly that he's qualified to serve as an Alongsider. You may doubt yourself; you may even doubt God. Admitting you don't have all the resources and answers is a great way to begin serving someone who is at the end of his or her rope: in a hospital, in a prison or juvenile hall, at a homeless shelter, or in a program for refugees. 

You'd be surprised what you could learn from Ni if you walked alongside him and shared his journey.  

But there's a catch...

You'd be surprised, inspired, shocked, amazed, confused, bothered, overwhelmed, and transformed, all these things! -  IF - and possibly only if - you stuck with it.

Sothana, Ni's Alongsider, says that through sharing his own journey over the long haul with Ni, he knows "true love" in a way he never knew it just by attending church or even in his own family. 

If you want all of that - ALL of it, the good and the bad - look around. God has a "Ni" already chosen for you, even as you breathe a prayer asking who it is. 

You'll be surprised.

It would be so easy to use money to solve this problem, but we won't. Here's why.

Sometimes all it takes to solve a problem, with the possibility of changing a child's life, is just a little bit of money. If you've got it, why not give it?

But we want to be very clear about how God has called us to serve, as a discipleship movement. And not try to be all things to all people - or to try to solve every problem that a community faces. This is why we need the wider body of Christ.

Not long ago, I was following a small group of Alongsiders and their little sisters on the backroads of a popular tourist city here in Cambodia. We walked along a dirt road, dodging sections flooded by a flurry of rain, and we came to a community of the working poor. 

The group stopped and two little sisters pointed out the places where they live. One of the girls, Bourmey (13), beckoned me to her home a few feet off the road and introduced me to her grandmother, who was sitting outside. Theary (19), who is Bourmey's Alongsider, then took a moment to tell me Bourmey's story...

Bourmey standing in front of her house

Bourmey lives with her mother, grandmother, and two sisters. Her father divorced her mother and left the family three years ago, when Bourmey was ten. Bourmey's mother works at a hotel where she earns about $150 per month. Her older sister is also working, but her ailing grandmother can't work anymore. The five of them live on less than $2 per day each. That amount might be sufficient for rice farmers in the countryside, but they live in an urban tourist center with a higher cost of living and no way to raise their own food.

Theary finished by stating, matter-of-factly, that soon Bourmey will have to drop out of school. The family simply can't afford the cost, and they would like her to go to work somehow. 

So there it was, the unspoken question: Can Alongsiders (as an organization) help Bourmey?

This photo of Cambodian school children was posted online with a request for $10 donations to a respected organization in order to "send a child to school."

It wouldn't take much to make a difference, just a few dollars (or a few kilograms of rice) every month to take the pressure off the family. That's all it would take for Bourmey to stay in school and on track for a better life. If only it were that simple.

In the Alongsiders movement, many little brothers and sisters are among the poorest of the poor economically. Many of their lives seem to hang in the balance for lack of a few dollars a month. I've written here on the blog about Piya who is ashamed to attend school because she can't afford a uniform, and more recently about Saron, a compassionate Alongsider who feels like her future is in jeopardy if she can't get into a free nurse training program.

Surely we could raise money for children and Alongsiders in need, and many people would gladly contribute. Why not?

Here are three important reasons we have decided not to use funds in this way:

1. The most important reason that we are cautious about bringing in outside funds is that many young people who serve as Alongsiders would no longer see any need to give from their own, seemingly meager, resources to support their little brothers and sisters. They would lose the opportunity to be generous and part of the solution, not to mention the chance to grow in faith (hint: think about what Jesus did with 5 barley loaves and 2 small fish). Generosity is an important aspect of discipleship that we want to nurture - but outside funds usually overpower rather than empower.

2. Future Alongsiders would be under pressure to pick relatives and friends as their little brothers and sisters, rather than being motivated primarily by love and choosing the most vulnerable children. It's simply expected, when you come from a family that is struggling with poverty themselves, that you share lucrative connections and opportunities with family and friends first.

3. The majority of little brothers and sisters come from very poor families, so many of them have clear and pressing needs. Once the word got out that Alongsiders was helping financially, the Alongsiders staff would be flooded with requests. And if requests were not met, or if some families received more than others, there would be jealousy and anger. To meet the requests fairly, each situation would have to be investigated, analyzed, and administrated. Soon Alongsiders as an organization would be running a centralized program based on distributing money. It would no longer be a grassroots discipleship movement with nearly unlimited growth potential.

It's not hard to read the list above and agree with the reasoning in principle. Though the Alongsiders movement is having a widespread impact, it should still be clear that Alongsiders is not a "magic bullet" that solves every problem under the sun. We don't drill wells where there is a lack of water. We don't build houses or schools or factories. And we don't give school fees. There are many good NGO's who do those things - and together we make up the body of Christ.

Still, it's another thing to face Bourmey knowing that the organization could help financially, but it won't.

But understand the story doesn't end there. We must give credit for what people even in hard circumstances can do to help each other. And we need to have faith.

In 2013, Alongsiders International worked with an independent research team to measure the impact that Cambodian Alongsiders were having in the lives of their little brothers and sisters.

One of the most surprising findings was that 99 percent of the little brothers and sisters reported they were attending school. That was much higher than the percentage of their peers in the same communities attending school. It shows the power of the relationships that Alongsiders have with their little brothers and sisters and their families. 

Alongsiders is an exciting, growing movement that empowers people at the margins. It is raising up disciples of Jesus who act in love and faith. And they are making a significant impact on hundreds of children and families in Cambodia - and now in other countries, too. 

Can you see why we would want to protect this movement by not getting into the money distrubution and management business? (For the record, there ARE admirable organizations working with Cambodian families and providing school uniforms and other subsidies to help keep children in school. The intent here is not to say we should never give money.) 

It may seem unsatisfying to not know how Bourmey's story will end. Often blog posts like this one finish on a happy note. Know this: Bourmey is well loved and her story is far from over.

Theary and Bourmey

I want to end with a final word about money and how it's given.

It's been said here before that many Alongsiders use their own money to help support their little brothers and sisters in amazing acts of faith and generosity. We have MUCH to learn from them. As I was writing this post, I heard the following story, and I want to finish with it.

Phearom is one of the coordinators of Alongsiders Cambodia, and he is an Alongsider himself. When I asked about giving money to others, he used himself as an example. I know he earns a modest salary, and I know most of it goes to support his parents and siblings. But he started by simply saying he never gives money to anyone unless he has a relationship with the person first. I wish that more organizations and ministries could say the same. Then he gave this example:

My little brother joined a soccer team and so he wanted to get a soccer uniform, but he didn't have enough money. I said that I would help him buy a uniform, but first he had to go to school, study hard, and rise to number one in his class. He has been going to school every day, and he has been studying hard. It's been nearly a year already, and he is almost number one in his class. I think he'll get the uniform soon.

As you think about this very simple story, ask yourself: How much money is he talking about, and is it "a lot" or "a little"? What will be the results of giving it? What is his sense of urgency? What can you learn from this?

This Alongsider chose a "little sister" with unique challenges. The results are ordinary...and radical.

She has a winning smile, but Kheing Ly (13) has dealt with more and heavier challenges than most girls her age.

Being the daughter of a policeman in Cambodia has some advantages, like a stable income and a bit of respect in the community. Locals observing at a distance might even say Kheing is lucky in this way. But Kheing's father and mother fight whenever he is around, which is less and less, and Kheing has absorbed an unhealthy portion of their anger and verbal abuse. 

Kheing hurts in other less hidden ways. For one thing, she suffers from exotropia, what many call being cross-eyed. Her eyes don't align properly. The condition affects her focus and depth perception, and it gives her an awkward appearance.

When I met Kheing for the first time, at the  Alongsiders annual camp last November, I noticed that she didn't want to be in pictures. Every time I pointed my camera at her she looked upset, so I stopped (except when her friends pulled her into group shots). Later, when I was looking at my photos, I saw that she always posed with a peace sign in front of her face that covered up her wandering eye.

Even so Kheing was always with her Alongsider and her group of friends. Just a normal kid with problems, like all the other kids there.

But there was something I didn't know about Kheing until a few days ago when I visited her group of Alongiders at their church in Kampong Saom.

The church has about ten Alongsiders, and five of them had gathered to meet me. Kheing was surrounded by other little sisters, and her Alongsider, Paektra (21), sat next to her. Kheing was nervous but still smiling when I asked her my first question. Paektra looked straight at her, face-to-face, and repeated my words along with gestures until Kheing understood. And that's when I learned that Kheing is deaf. 

Kheing and Paektra

As you might imagine, there are limited services and resources for a deaf child in Cambodia. Deaf children are likely to be sent away or hidden and isolated. Ordinary Cambodians are not used to relating with them, or with people who have disabilities in general. 

But here was Kheing and a crowd of peers talking and miming and doing whatever it took for them to relate. 

She can read lips - a little. She's fortunate that there is a school for the deaf in Kampong Saom where she has been learning the lip reading as well as sign language. 

Paektra asked Kheing to be her little sister just over a year ago, because she could see that Kheing really needed someone. "The other children would pick on her and call her names when she went down the street," says Paektra, "and she was always alone."

Paektra lives in Kheing's neighborhood, so they see each other almost every day. When they get together they ride bicycles, take walks, read the latest Alongsider comic, or go to the beach. Sometimes they pray, which Kheing acknowledges with her face turning red and a smile. 

Later Paektra explains that the neighborhood kids don't pick on Kheing so much anymore. "I taught them how to treat her," she says. "They didn't know." So often the difference between being excluded or included is having a respected person stand up for you.

Two boys attempt to fly home made kites as some Alongsiders and their little brothers and sisters gather in front of the church. (Kampong Saom, Cambodia)

Kheing doesn't attend the Sunday church service. She can't understand the sermons, and the church is located in a different community. But Paektra is a living sermon, showing the way of Jesus to Kheing and bringing "church" to Kheing whenever they meet. "For where two or three are gathered in my name," says Jesus, "there am I among them."

The stories here, about Alongsiders and their little brothers and sisters, are beginning to show familiar patterns: loneliness and isolation overcome, encouragement and love given, courage and resilience gained, and the power of relationships in action. Perhaps the stories are becoming more  "ordinary" with repetition, but I never get tired of them.

Shane Claiborne is an American Christian activist who challenges us, by word and example, to stand with people who are marginalized in society. He calls out Christians to follow Jesus as "ordinary radicals."  To be radical, he says, is the ordinary state of one who is following Jesus. Ordinary people following Jesus change lives and change the world around them through their love in relationships.

“I think that’s what our world is desperately in need of - lovers, people who are building deep, genuine relationships with fellow strugglers along the way, and who actually know the faces of the people behind the issues they are concerned about.”

— Shane Claiborne (Irresistible Revolution)

 Paektra and many of the Alongsiders I've met are ordinary radicals.

 It doesn't take special people to change the world, just ordinary ones who love others in the way Jesus taught and showed us.

What if that kind of love was the new ordinary for you?

The Circle of Courage

“I chose her because I want her to be smart, and I want her to be brave.”

— Matha, an Alongsider

That's wisdom from a 17 year old Alongsider in rural Cambodia. Her name is Matha. Her chosen little sister, Esara, is nine, and we're sitting together in the shade of a wooden home. 

Phearom, an Alongsiders Cambodia staff, takes a photo of Matha while Esara watches.

Matha is not desperately poor, I suppose, because she arrived at our meeting on a small motocycle. But it's safe to say she doesn't have much to offer Esara in the way of money or material resources. Fortunately, this sets Matha free to look beyond what she can provide in order to see the resources Esara has within herself. She believes that - with some support - Esara can solve her own problems. But it's important for her to be smart and brave.

Why smart? Because Esara must choose well.

Going to school will be a choice. Studying at home and learning will be a choice. Having good relationships will be a choice. Many of Esara's peers, will drop out of school and go to work in factories. They will be drawn by a low salary (that looks large to a young person from the countryside), and they will find themselves stuck in a rut that's hard to escape. Some will make compromises and fall into bad marriages; some will be single mothers. Along the way, forces in society will pressure and mislead Esara, and she won't get much help from her teachers. Even so, there will be opportunities for her, if she pushes herself to learn, thinks clearly, and stays on track.

Why brave? Because Esara feels vulnerable, and rightly so.

"I always see her alone," says Matha. "Her family doesn't seem to love her very much. They always go to the market and leave her at home." 

Esara has problems relating with her older sisters. Her father, who apparently does care for her, stays away from home working five or six days per week. As Matha explains, Esara's eyes turn red and she begins to wipe away tears. Most families in Esara's community are economically poor, but vulnerability means more than just a lack of material resources. 

But Matha is on to something. Increasing courage in children and youth is right at the heart of the vision of Alongsiders. 

According to positive psychologists, increasing courage is a key to increasing a child's resilience. Resilience is the God-given ability to overcome adversity. So courage - or to "be brave" - can change the life of a vulnerable child. 

Alongsider relationships nurture four characteristics in children and youth that increase their courage and, therefore, their resiliency. (And in case it's not clear below, "being smart" neatly sums up items 2-4.)

1. Belonging (through relationship with an Alongsider and improving relationships with God, family, and others in the community)
2. Mastery (through discipleship, education, and problem solving)
3. Independence (through growing in responsibility and life skills)
4. Generosity (through serving and becoming an Alongsider for someone else)

It's worth adding one more note about courage. "Do not be afraid"/"Fear not" is the most repeated phrase in the Bible. In scripture fearful people reject Jesus and his ways, but people with courage follow him and love one another. 

"Do you want to be brave?" I ask.
Esara says, "Yes." 
"Can she help you?"
"Yes," she replies.

Esara is a small package, but the greatest resources she can count on are already, by God's grace, either within her or accessible to her in relationships. 

But she needs courage: to be smart and brave. And love is showing her the way.

After 8 years he's looking for his third "little brother". You'll be surprised how ordinary he is.

Sorn may not seem like much. If you were in his community looking for a leader, or a game changer, a guy like Sorn might not turn your head. 

My guess is that ninety percent of us, if we passed Sorn on some dusty road in the province where he lives, wouldn't look twice - unless it was to dodge his slow moving cart filled with vegetables. It goes to show how much we miss.

A Cambodian man (not Sorn) transporting produce to market

Every morning at 3:30 or 4:30am Sorn wakes up, hitches his cart to his motorcycle, and goes around to local farmers buying vegtetables. He takes them to one of the nearby village markets and sells them until 2 or 3 in the afternoon. Every day except Sunday.

I say it's hard work. He shrugs and says it's normal. People in rural Cambodia do what it takes to get by. 

Unlike many of his peers, Sorn didn't move to one of the country's big cities after high school. He stuck around.

He doesn't give the details, but when he was young his father either left or died. Sorn's mother raised him with support from his grandfather, who is the pastor of their local church. His grandfather wanted Sorn to stick around, and he even helped Sorn find a wife who felt the same way. Two years ago they were married, and their first child was born fourteen days ago.

Sorn has been an Alongsider for eight years, since 2007, and he has had two little brothers. Both grew up and became Alongsiders themselves, and both are active in the church now. Sorn says he prayed carefully before choosing each one. He wanted to choose boys who would grow and mature into responsible, faithful adults. Both have done well. One had a brief problem with gambling but stopped after Sorn talked with him about it.

Now Sorn is praying and looking for a third little brother.

The country church in Kampong Thom that Sorn attends

Sorn has been a leader for the youth in the church for years, and now he is the leader of the Alongsiders group there. It's a challenge, as the majority of the young people grow up and leave for the cities. 

It would be easy to tell Sorn's story in a way that depicts him as larger than life, to describe him in poetic terms. Rather, let's just respect him as a human being with a full range of emotions and choices to make in the circumstances of his life. It's because Sorn is an ordinary-extraordinary man in his community that he can bring hope and change starting from within it.

Sorn and others like him and their relationships - not a program or NGO - are making a difference. Our movement and the tools we develop are NOT intended to work through them, or despite them, but to support them, to engage them, and to set them loose.

The secret of Sorn's humanity (and ours) is this: God works through him in love. The key to our movement is this: to respect him, support and equip him, and then get out of the way.

The story of an intern, an Alongsider and a bowl of rice

“Charity is simply giving someone crumbs off your table. Justice is giving someone a seat at your table.”

— Jenny Yang

For Karuna Seng and Brooke Hill, it's been an unforgettable summer. Both twenty-one year olds have had the opportunity to travel to a different country through their work with Alongsiders International. Along the way, they've been learning what it means to serve people as their equals. 

Karuna Seng grew up in the Chak Angre Leu, a slum community in Phnom Penh. Her father died in an accident when she was ten, leaving her, her mother, and sisters living with their grandmother. After his death, a woman in her community invited her family to worship at a local church.  

Karuna didn't understand the service, but she was warmly greeted and welcomed by everyone there. Her heart filled with happiness as they shared some cake together.

Shortly afterwards, a woman in the youth group invited Karuna to become her little sister in the Alongsiders movement.

Karuna didn't understand what Alongsiders even was, but she was so excited to be invited by Somaly that she quickly agreed. Somaly took Karuna to Sunday school each week, and eventually Karuna became a Christian. Somaly taught her many important lessons, including how to clean herself and how to study hard so that she could get a good job later. 

On the other side of the world, Brooke Hill was growing up in a small agrarian town in Missouri, USA. Growing up in a broken home, Brooke did not understand the depth offered in community.

Like Karuna, Brooke lived with her mom, and often missed her dad. As a representation of many American families, Brooke's family usually did not eat dinner together.

Also, like Karuna, Brooke discovered fellowship with local Christians. When she was at her friend's house, at age twelve, she saw a picture of kids at Christian camp. She thought it looked like a lot of fun, so she asked her mom if she could go. During an incredible week being welcomed by many loving people at the camp, she became a Christian. At the age of 16, she heard about missions at a Christian conference and was fascinated by the thought that some people spend their lives helping other people. 

After a few shorter mission trips, Brooke decided to combine her love for the Lord, her heart for people, and her skill at photography in a summer internship with Alongsiders. In May 2015, she moved into Chak Angre Leu, right down the alleyway from Karuna.

For the past two months, Brooke has slept under a mosquito net, taken bucket showers, and eaten lots and lots of rice. Through laughter and language learning, Brooke has built relationships with her host mother and new neighborhood.

One of the first things Brooke noticed is the way everyone in the community looks out for each other. The most commonly asked question is "Have you eaten rice yet?" Her host mother feeds everyone who answers no. Many elderly women without steady income stop by regularly for meals. Meals are a time of fellowship and unity for Brooke and her community.

When Brooke first arrived in Cambodia, a little girl named Dali came over to the house and asked her name. Since then, Dali has come over every day to play with Brooke.

Every evening she walks in asking, "Hello Brooke, how are you?" Brooke loves to listen to Dali sing "Open the Eyes of My Heart."

Brooke reflects: "Dali has the purest form of faith I have ever witnessed. [She teaches me] that life is much bigger than myself. Dali has reminded me of the importance of praising God regardless of circumstances.  When I return back to the States and my heart is aching for the people I have met in Cambodia, I pray that I will ask God to open the eyes of my own heart, that I may be open to sharing this same love and faith with those I encounter, just as Dali has done for me."

When she's not spending time with Dali or others in her community, Brooke works as an intern photographer for Alongsiders. She rides with Karuna on her moto to the Alongsiders office, where Karuna works as the receptionist. 

Karuna is now an Alongsider herself, walking beside her little sister Vegegar in Chak Angre Leu. Karuna recently traveled to Singapore to share her story at an Alongsiders fundraising banquet. It was her first time outside of the country, and what she saw changed her.

Singapore was clean, beautiful, and organized. Cars obeyed the traffic laws and people waited in lines. Karuna couldn't believe that there was such a thing as a bus timetable, as she was used to waiting for the bus until it eventually showed up at an unspecified time. "When I saw that, I was so proud of their wisdom," she reflected. Her time in Singapore gave her a vision for her own country.

One of the most poignant moments was the prayer time at a Singaporean church they visited.

Karuna and the other Alongsiders present were intercessors at the end of the service for anyone who wanted to ask for prayer.

As an older man came forward to ask Karuna to pray for him, she hesitated. "He was rich and older than I, so why did he want me to pray for him?" Karuna asked herself. In that moment, God spoke to her heart that He had lifted her up to pray for these people. Tears streamed down her face as she prayed from her heart in Khmer for the Singaporean man.

Next she prayed for a woman who cried with her. It was a moment Karuna will never forget. "I hope God was working through me then," she said earnestly. 

Back in Cambodia, Karuna shared about her experience in Singapore during the Alongsiders' Office devotional time. "May God open the eyes of my generation so that we can transform our country," she prayed. In the future, Karuna hopes to see three changes in her country. 

1. Justice for the poor
2. An end to government corruption
3. Respect for all people

"Someday, I want everyone to have rice together," Karuna dreamed. "No one will hold onto their position and use their power to set themselves above each other. We will all have rice together." 

It's been a summer of learning to walk alongside those who are richer or poorer than themselves as equals. For Karuna, it's meant sharing her story and offering prayer for the people in Singapore. For Brooke, it's meant building friendships with people in her slum community. But for both of them, it's meant eating lots and lots of rice. 

“My soul magnifies the Lord,
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior....
He has shown strength with his arm;
he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts;
he has brought down the mighty from their thrones
and exalted those of humble estate;
he has filled the hungry with good things,
and the rich he has sent away empty.”

— Luke 1:46-55, excerpts

The sting of being excluded - and how to address it

Everyone needs to be part of a community: to be accepted, to belong, to contribute. And we all know what it feels like to be excluded and marginalized, how it threatens our well-being to the core. 

Consider this story told by a Cambodian friend (in her words as I remember them).

Growing up I was very poor. One of the poorest children in a poor village. Everyone looked down on me. The other children called me names, and I felt dirty and ashamed. When I got older, I had to drop out of school and work. Someday my dream is to drive into my old village in a big, expensive car. They'll all see me and say, "She made it." The poorest children will think, "If she could do it, I can do it." I want to open a school there and use my money to help others, because that's the responsibility you have if you are rich.

Like many children in the developing world, my friend's community of origin was a rural village. It's a place where everyone knows everyone else. Despite its shortcomings, it still helped to shape and guide her. Years later, having finally gotten her high school degree, she still wanted to return and be validated by the people there. 

Her home community was not just important to her for emotional reasons. Besides family, local community relationships play an important role in shaping our lives as we grow up. Here are some examples of what children need to learn while growing up in a Cambodian village:

1. Culturally appropriate manners in various relationships
2. Verbal and non-verbal communication abilities
3. Work habits and credibility
4. Respect for community values and traditions
5. How to navigate vital customs like courtship, marriage, and property ownership

Of course, communities (and families) don't always function as well as we wish they would. 

My friend's story demonstrates a sad truth: that even in poor villages the poorest and most vulnerable children and families are often treated badly and further marginalized. 

How can they benefit from growing up in the village community if they are excluded?

There's a moment in our Alongsiders video (see below at 0:53) in which a little girl is watching a group of children play. She is standing outside a gate, looking in with longing in her eyes to join in. Then her Alongsider comes and takes her by the hand. She helps her little sister join the group and they all play together. In a moment this little sister moves from excluded to included. She is no longer on the outside looking in: she has been chosen and loved.

My friend from the opening story wanted to be included, wanted to be seen differently, but it didn't stop there. She wanted - and still wants - to contribute. To be part of a community and respected within a community is not just about receiving benefits, it's also about participating and giving.

So here's another side to that moment in the video. The Alongsider was once a little sister herself. She was once the one outside the gate; now she is opening the gate for someone else. 

Perhaps other gatekeepers in her community - or readers here - will see her example and begin to change.

"My Alongsider showed love to me, and now I want to show my love to my own little brother." (Narith, Age 17)

Many Alongsiders have been at the bottom and felt the sting of being excluded. To be sure, many are still struggling to find a way forward economically.

But as Alongsiders they are no longer mere victims or numbers, they are servant leaders and agents of change.

In another vocabulary, they are disciples of Jesus - who himself was marginalized, who identified with people outside the gates. 

The community in which the little sister in the video lives isn't perfect, but it has so much to offer. She needs to be included in it for her own learning and development. And it needs her and what she can give. The same is true for many thousands of boys and girls in Cambodia (and in whatever country you may name).

Fortunately, there are many thousands of potential Alongsiders in Cambodia (and in India, Indonesia, China, and a growing list of countries), and they already make their homes in countless rural villages and urban slums where the most vulnerable children live.

Alongsiders see the excluded ones, bring them inside the gates, and walk with them until they can do the same for others.

The incredible lightness of being small

We're obsessed with size, scale and numbers. On Facebook we connect with hundreds or even thousands. We count our likes and comments. We share pictures; we discuss global problems with friends and Tweet them to our followers. We get round-the-clock news via television and Internet: another earthquake in Nepal, more Saudi airstrikes, an ISIS leader killed, another bizarre story from North Korea, murders and mysteries, crashes and corruption, and it's election season again. 

Need a distraction? How about the summer movie everyone is talking about: The Avengers: Age of Ultron. (Say it in a loud voice.) In this movie, humanity is saved from near certain annihilation.

Sounds familiar, and it's BIG!

Think about it though. A band of heroes with special powers and abilities face an evil menace. These heroes do all the best thinking and fighting while the rest of humanity and their inept leaders blunder about helplessly. Meanwhile, off-screen regular people (like us) are dying by the tens of thousands.

So how is that a relief?

We watch these movies and let our minds drift through feelings approximating courage, fear, relief, and hope. Maybe even love. Of course, we identify with the heroes, not with the nameless masses dodging falling buildings far below.

Then we walk out of the theater feeling bigger, a little lighter in the step and ready for action. But soon, like Walter Mitty (a character in another kind of movie), we get mired in the ordinary again.

What can we do?

Seriously, here's a thought. We can, each of us, embrace being small and let go of the illusion that we could (or should) be in control despite all the information and tools we seem to have.

And then we can release the burden of making ourselves any more significant than we already are.

Truth is, you will never in your life be more significant than you are right now. The life of God has breathed in you; the God who fills the universe has loved you and died for you. What could you possibly to do to make yourself more significant than that? 

Jesus had a huge vision that would change the world, but it belonged to the Father. Jesus' burden was light; it was not to be in control. He did what the Father was doing here and now with the people in front of him. 

Talking or writing about Alongsiders International as a movement comes perilously close to a line we don't want to cross. It's not our job to make ourselves big. People are inspired by movements, no doubt, but here is the movement that thrills us most.

Today, an Alongsider rode his bicycle to the home of his little brother, a boy hardly anyone deems significant, and helped him with his homework.

Today, another Alongsider visited her little sister's house and helped her wash herself and wash her clothes. 

They know the most important thing: what the Father is doing.

What they do in step with the Father, though hardly anyone may notice, changes the world. 

Can we put aside the burden and distraction of being big and living large - of size, scale and numbers - and just see the love of the Father and do the same?

They might be giants

Four months ago I traveled by bus, boat, and motorcycle to Kampong Leng, a remote farming community north of Phnom Penh, to witness a group of new Alongsider mentors signing up with their newly chosen little brothers and sisters. A few days ago I went back to check on their progress, and this is what I saw. 

Even in the dry season, Kampong Leng is a lush, green country, especially for one accustomed to Phnom Penh's concrete skylines and motorcycle rivers. Most land in Kampong Leng that isn't covered in jungle or water is cultivated to grow rice and a dozen other crops. Fruit trees spring up everywhere, even on the school grounds. 

When I arrive at the local church, five of the Alongsider mentors are gathered to meet me with their little brothers and sisters. They have come from all directions, and one has traveled several miles on his bicycle.

Alongsiders with their little brothers and sisters and a few extras. Chanthy is wearing orange and white stripes. Piya and her little brother are on the right in yellow.

For the past four months these new Alongsiders have been meeting with their little brothers and sisters once a week on average. I ask whether meeting regularly is a challenge, and I receive an education.

Most families in Kampong Leng are rice farmers, though many are diversifying as family members start businesses, work in factories, and (in dream scenarios) get educated and find salaried jobs. Those families that subsist on farming alone are very poor, usually earning less than $1 per day according to Chanthy, the Alongsiders group leader in the community.

Farmers in Kampong Leng work through the dry season. They can't use the fields near to their homes, so they travel (or relocate) to rented fields closer to the retreating Mekong River. 

The little brothers and sisters all come from farming families, so their parents are on the move. Sometimes the children move with them.

The Alongsider mentors are also from farming families. Most are high school students. When they are not studying, they may attend extra classes to learn English or computer skills. Otherwise, if they have free time, they are expected to help their parents by working in the fields or at home. 

Making time for their little brothers and sisters, even once a week, is a significant gift - and an effective one!

After my last visit I wrote about Piya, an 11 year-old who cares for three younger siblings every day while her parents are away working. Recently, Piya has started attending school about three days a week. In order for her to study, her mother will stay home in the mornings until Piya returns to look after her siblings. 

Piya's mother wants her daughter to attend school. The greatest obstacle for Piya isn't time or even money: it's the shame.

Chanthy says, "Cambodians don't like poor children." She repeats the words, to make sure I understand, and adds, "Only the Christians love poor children, but not all the Christians do." 

Piya, like many of the poorest children, doesn't have a school uniform, just a set or two of worn out clothes, plus she lacks basic school supplies like notebooks and pens.

When she attends school without a uniform or proper materials, the other children treat her with contempt, so she doesn't want to go. She has only started attending recently due to her Alongsider's strong encouragement.

I had thought that Piya's circumstances were unique, but as I listen to the Alongsiders share, I realize most of their little brothers and sisters face similar challenges. Most would not be attending school regularly without the support of their Alongsiders.

One little sister goes to school, then she walks one-and-a-half hours to join her parents at their rented rice field. They walk home together in the evening.

So what do the Alongsiders do with their little brothers and sisters? Most spend two or three hours together and do similar activities.

• They eat together.
• They help with homework and reading and writing Khmer.
• Some read the Bible together.
• Most of the Alongsiders have taken their little brothers and sisters to buy school supplies using their own money.
• Most of the Alongsiders help their little brothers and sisters to thoroughly clean themselves and wash their clothes. 
• All the Alongsiders pray for their little brothers and sisters in their personal prayer times, and some pray for them directly.

Some Alongsiders have been able to bring their little brothers and sisters to church, but for many this is not yet possible. The distance is great, and the parents of the children (who are not Christians) work on Sundays and need their children at home or in the fields.

But through their actions and prayers, they are extending the Body of Christ to their little brothers and sisters where they are.

I leave with an enlarged vision, inspired and challenged by these amazing Alongsiders. In the eyes of the world - and even in their own eyes - they are marginalized. Yet they are most significant and central in the eyes of God, giants in the real Kingdom.

A unique home situation kept this boy coming back to camp 8 times in a row

Narith is slow to reveal the details of his story, especially the challenges in his life, as though they are commonplace and hardly worth mentioning. He has a calm, quiet presence. He's the sort of person you might overlook in a gathering of nearly 300 excited children and youth.

That was the scene last week at the Alongsiders Cambodia annual camp for mentors and their little brothers and sisters. 

Narith was there attending for the eighth consecutive year. He was chosen as a little brother at the age of nine. Now at seventeen years old he is one of the oldest "little" brothers. And he is a good example of why we have an annual camp.

Worship, music and even dance are important parts of camp

What he enjoys about camp, he says, are the worship and teaching times. But most of all he loves being part of the community: the big gatherings, the shared energy, the group activities, and the sense of movement together. 

As he keeps talking, it's clear why the community experience is so important to him.

He starts by saying his mother has been "low in energy" for as long as he can remember. His father, he adds, died when he was very young.

Narith's mother has worked for many years in a garment factory as a seamstress seven days a week. So she's away from home and Narith does many things for himself. Mostly he studies.

He's an only child, he says. His mother never remarried. She has worked hard all these years so that he can get an education, and now he is on track to graduate from high school, thanks to her sacrifices.

Being in the Alongsiders movement, not surprisingly, has had a significant impact on his life. After he was chosen as a little brother, his Alongsider mentor used to visit all the time to encourage and pray for him. They still meet frequently. Narith himself came to faith and joined a local church.

His mother also came to faith along the way. As he says this, Narith makes a curious gesture with his hands motioning toward his heart, as if he's trying to show his mother's faith because words aren't enough to describe it.

There is one more detail to the story. 

Narith has been a "little brother" since he was 9 years old.

Perhaps it's out of respect for her that he leaves this point until the end, because she has not let it define her. Narith's mother is deaf and she can't speak. They share a sign language they developed together over the years.

It's no wonder Narith loves the community life at camp! No wonder he is drawn to the volume and energy. No wonder he participates in every activity wholeheartedly, even craft projects designed for younger children. At home he is most often alone or, when his mother returns from a long day of work, in silence.

Workshop learning and fun

Isolation is the essence of poverty. Many of the little brothers and sisters have lost one or more parents, and many take care of themselves while their parents or guardians go to work. Alongsiders is overcoming isolation through relationships.

At the annual camp, little brothers and sisters see they are not alone. Mentors learn from each other. It's a time of renewing, recharging, and sharing vision. It's for everyone to recognize they are part of a movement, and that it's from God. 

Next year Narith will likely return to camp for the ninth time as an Alongsider mentor himself.

Narith's Alongsider mentor, Kimyan, praying for him at camp

"I know because of my own experience. My Alongsider mentor always showed me love. I want to give my love to another little brother like he did for me."

As Narith speaks, music is playing upstairs and a voice is peeling through a microphone calling everyone together. It's time to go and join the movement again.

Why we work with churches, even when it gets uncomfortable

We work with local churches.

If you’re nodding your head, or shaking it in concern, keep reading. Some of our reasons may surprise you.

Alongsiders doesn’t just work ON or FOR local churches; we work within them. We equip young church members, and they do the most important work of being Alongsiders. Most of that is done outside the view and control of our movement leaders who are in supporting roles. 

Here are four reasons why we do it this way, starting with the easy ones.

1. Local churches are present in local communities almost everywhere.

Local churches are spread out all over the countries we work in. For example, in India we partner with a network of 3000 churches. What organization can claim to have offices and staff in so many places? Especially in places where the poorest of the poor really live? If there is such an organization, then it must spend a fortune on staff and overhead.

To reach thousands of vulnerable children we need a presence in thousands of local communities. Grassroots movements depend on grassroots structures and networks. Working with local churches means the structures we need are already in place where we need them.

2. Local church relationships are an important support network.

Most mentors are singles in their twenties. They may lack the wisdom and experience to respond to all the needs their little brothers and sisters may face. Family problems, abuse or entrenched poverty may require intervention by wise older adults.  Mentors who are part of healthy local churches have a support network already in place to stand with them.

And that support network becomes a blessing and source of strength for the little brothers and sisters and their families too. Vulnerable children are often isolated and disconnected. By welcoming them into the local church, children gain an important support network which will be there to help them face the challenges of life.

In Alongsiders we often quote the Cambodian proverb: It takes a spider to repair its own web. In real life it often takes a community of spiders.

3. We believe in the gospel.

When Jesus started his ministry, he declared “good news (or the gospel) to the poor” and said:

(God) has sent me to proclaim freedom to the prisoners and recovery of sight to the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.

We already speak a common language with the local churches. Or do we not?

Some Christians and churches have taken this gospel and spiritualized it as solely a message of salvation from sin. They interpret “poverty” and “blindness” and “captivity” entirely as metaphors for spiritual conditions. 

Others believe Jesus addresses both spiritual and material poverty, disability, and oppression (and other dimensions besides), but they have struggled to communicate and live out a more complete (wholistic) gospel in their local churches.

As a result, many Christians concerned about the poor have supported Christian organizations which focus on compassion and social justice, while their local church attends to the "more spiritual" tasks.

But should a wholistic gospel be divided up this way?

If we believe Jesus announced such an all-encompassing gospel – that every relationship on earth and in heaven is being put right with forgiveness, healing, and justice – and if we believe Jesus is the Head of the Church, then can't we hope that the Spirit of Christ will guide us into the fullness of the gospel together?

So for the sake of the good news for the poor, Alongsiders as an organization is returning initiative and power to local churches through their members, entrusting them with a wholistic gospel message for the vulnerable, the disabled, and the captives among them, and empowering them to live it out.

4. We want to see local churches transformed.

Alongsiders works through local churches. And very often the mentors themselves, and even whole churches, are transformed along the way. This is not always a comfortable process for those in entrenched positions of leadership. The contribution of younger people is not always valued. But Jesus was a master at turning things upside-down and challenging the prevailing culture.

Church elders and leaders with a new batch of Alongsiders

The Alongsiders movement is not merely a movement to bring love and encouragement and discipleship to vulnerable children. It is also a movement of young people being transformed. We believe that in reaching out the poor, it is often WE who are most deeply impacted, OUR faith that is stretched, and OUR capacity for love that is enlarged. It is counter-intuitive, but central to the gospel, that when we lay down our lives for others we will actually find life ourselves. This is what we are seeing everyday in the lives of the Alongsider mentors. This is what is transforming the church.

Christ loved the church - to the point where He laid down his life for it (Eph 5:25). Despite all the problems and challenges of loving sinful human beings, we are called to do the same.

There are MANY more reasons we work through local churches, but most of all we long to see the Kingdom that Jesus announced being fulfilled...

On earth as it is in heaven.

This action seems insignificant at first, but look at the impact on a child's education

The face of a courageous young girl named Malala is burned forever in our minds.

These are her words:

“I don’t mind if I have to sit on the floor at school, I want an education, and I am afraid of no one.”

— Malala Yousafzai

Malala took a bullet in the head for her resolve, and even that couldn’t stop her.

Malala’s courage is extraordinary; but her desire to learn shouldn’t be so surprising. Across the developing world children are hungry for an education. Their hunger is evident to anyone who has ever visited a functioning school classroom or after-school program. 

Last week, a story in the Cambodian papers ended with an ironic twist.

A young athlete, Sorn Seavmey, won Cambodia’s first ever gold medal in the Asian Games. She was naturally showered with praise and gifts on her return – plus one more thing...

It turns out she was one of many high school seniors this year who failed their graduation exams, so she was slated to take them again like all the rest who didn't pass. But Prime Minister Hun Sen declared that she will be granted an automatic passing grade.

This story captures one of the dilemmas with education in much of the developing world: the system favors some people over others. It’s not just about studying hard or ability; it’s also about power, money, and connections. People at the margins are on their own, and it's not a level playing field.

We know that getting educated is a proven way out of poverty. Improving schools and increasing access to them are staples of poverty reduction programs. 

Most of the "little brothers and little sisters" in the Alongsiders movement come from the poorest families. Some simply cannot attend school due to lack of finances or, in some cases, because they must stay home to work or look after siblings.

What can Alongsiders do to ensure EVERY child has a chance to learn?

It may seem small - insignificant even - but simple ongoing acts of one-on-one coaching can significantly impact the education of a boy or girl in poverty.

In practice it looks like this: Alongsider mentors regularly help their little brothers and sisters with their homework, encouraging them to stay in school, and continuing to walk alongside them over the long haul. Sometimes they reach into their own pockets to buy a little brother or sister a notebook or pen that's needed.

In the words of one Alongsider mentor:

“My little brother goes to a school in the countryside where the teachers don’t require extra payments, because most of the families are too poor. The teachers have private classes after school, but he doesn’t attend those because he can’t afford them. But I encourage him, and he studies on his own every day. He can’t study a lot, because he has responsibilities like taking care of the cow and watching his brothers and sisters. But he studies enough.”

In our impact assessment, 97% of the "little brothers and sisters" in the Alongsiders movement reported that they receive help with their studies. Around half of them said that their Alongsider mentor was the MAIN person who helped them with their homework. Many also reported that their mentors had bought them school supplies or paid school fees at their own expense.

And look at the results:

“99% of little brothers and sisters surveyed are attending school, versus 55% of children of a similar demographic in the same neighborhoods. ”

— 2013 Impact Assessment

Impoverished students want to learn. It takes great determination to persevere, but it can be done. Every bit of encouragement and support and prayer from an Alongsider mentor helps them to find the strength inside themselves.

In the words of Malala, “One child, one teacher, one book, one pen can change the world.”

How one girl found the confidence to grow up

Karuna (left), now 21 years old with her own "little sister"

Karuna, in her own words, was "messy" when her Alongsider mentor came into her life.

Her father had died when she was eight. Her mother went to work in a factory for ten hours a day, six days a week.

So Karuna and her five sisters lived with her grandmother in a small house along a narrow alley in an urban slum.  

With no money for them to attend school, Karuna and her sisters sold cakes to make money for their basic needs.

She had friends, but they were all struggling with similar circumstances. “I used to talk with my friends for hours about nothing," she says. "We didn't want to think about the future.”

"Before my Alongsider mentor came into my life, no one had ever related with me that way before."  

Somaly, Karuna's mentor, talked with her about real life issues. She helped her with hygiene, cleaned her up, prayed with her, and brought her to the Alongsiders annual camp. 

Social impact on young lives

When we evaluated the impact of the Alongsiders movement in 2013, we found that 74 percent of Alongsider little brothers and sisters report they "have someone they can talk to about their problems" compared to just 48 percent of their peers.  

And a striking 99 percent of little brothers and sisters say they have hope for the future, compared with 60 percent among their peers. 

Karuna sensed her lack of life skills as a young girl, but she didn't know what to do about it. Encouraging little brothers and sisters to grow in their ability to deal with others is another crucial part of what Alongsider mentors do. 

The following chart shows some ways little brothers and sisters grow in life skills and social awareness (based on self-assessments).

Becoming more capable socially may not seem like a big deal, but knowing how to speak politely or how to handle anger will have a significant impact on a young person's confidence and ability to succeed in work and life. Being more aware of sexual issues, drugs, and domestic violence make vulnerable children safer and more likely to avoid falling into destructive relationships.

Today, Karuna still lives with her grandmother and her sisters in the same home in the slum. The doorway to their house is small but welcoming. Her grandmother is often sitting at the entrance next to a sewing machine with a background of colorful family pictures on the wall behind her. The family members squeeze into small rooms and sleep on beds made of rough-hewn planks. An outsider looking in might declare that they are poor and even question what has really changed. 

But something fundamental has shifted.

Karuna is a confident and dignified young woman. She is working and hopeful about the future. Her family attends a church at the end of the alley that serves the community, and they are a source of strength for others.

And Karuna is an Alongsider mentor herself now.

Her little sister is an eight year-old girl whose parents are divorced. She lives in the slum with her grandmother. Lately, she has been missing school to stay home and look after her younger brother. Her grandmother is out working hard every day so they can eat. 

Karuna has the confidence to talk with the girl's grandmother about her little sister's school attendance. For now there is no simple solution, but Karuna stands by her little sister as one who has been down this road before. Her little sister won't have to walk it alone either.

A day in the life of our Alongsiders staff

I am an observer, along for the ride, when a startled cow rams our motorbike.

To get to this point, we have already traveled by bus, boat, and motorbike to a remote village north of Phnom Penh. Our plan today is to register some new Alongsiders.

Phearom, who is on staff with Alongsiders Cambodia, is my guide.

As we hop on the backs of motorbikes driven by our hosts, we are heading towards a house church twenty minutes away.  

Halfway there my driver startles a cow who does not take kindly to being disturbed. The cow lowers its shoulder, snorts, and RAMS into us - nearly sending us flying! Thankfully, my driver handles the bovine battering with style and no harm is done.  

About 25 young adults and children are waiting for us on arrival. Their leader is a young woman with a gentle spirit and a quick wit who wastes no time chiding the children to practice their English with the foreigner. 

Phearom is warm - chatting and laughing with the youth and children. Everyone is excited. You can feel it in the air.

Phearom uses a low-end Samsung tablet to enter the names and details of the new Alongsiders and their little brothers and sisters in an Android app. Each participant is photographed. This information is then uploaded to an online database when he has wifi access.

Today is the day we officially become Alongsiders.

Today is the day I become a little brother.

Today is the day I become a little sister!

After the cheerful banter, Phearom sits down in a blue plastic chair and receives a stack of application forms. The nervous new mentors with their chosen little brothers and sisters line up to meet him.

The intake process begins.

Today we're not only scheduled to work here, but also at a church down the road where another small crowd of eager young Christians is waiting for us at dusk.

As the light fades to dark, we finally finish up the last intakes using a florescent light powered by a car battery.

Despite the angry cow, the lack of electricity, the dusty roads and distance from the city, it's been a good day. A very good day.

The start of something significant.

Here comes the Youth Bulge

Across the developing world, there is a demographic explosion – a population bulge of children and youth.  In fact, 90% of the world’s youth live in developing nations.  Meanwhile, the Western world faces declining populations in many places.  The Western world's population bulge is edging its way towards retirement – battling a different kind of bulge, of the stomach variety.

Check out this amazing map which shows how the world's population is distributed:

The Baby Boomers of North America and Europe reached young adulthood in the 60’s and 70’s, fomenting an era of societal upheaval and change.  Unlike the developing world though, the Boomers came of age in a context of relative affluence and stability.  Their youthful angst could be worked out with peace pipes and coffee house philosophy.  Now, as the Western world grows older, the developing world gets younger and more fragile.   

In Cambodia, more than two-thirds of the population are under thirty.  This “Youth-Bulge” presents multiple challenges in a country still rebuilding after a devastating war that few knew firsthand.  

For these young people, there are few jobs, and sociologists link youth bulges in populations to genocides, hotspots of social unrest, war and terrorism.  They point out that this tinder-box situation is especially serious in the most fragile nations, where governance is poor and authorities struggle to resolve societal conflicts.

The last few months have seen riots in Thailand, Cambodia and Bangladesh over election fraud and labor issues. These riots and protests are overwhelmingly led by young people.

Across Asia, the poorest countries are the ones with the youngest populations. But, it is sub-Saharan Africa that has youngest populations in the world, coupled with some of the most pressing social issues. 46 countries and territories in the world boast at least 70 percent of the population under the age of thirty.  The vast majority of these are found in sub-Saharan Africa.

But what if the very ones at risk also, paradoxically, hold the keys to hope and opportunity?   
Cambodians say wisely, “Only a spider can repair his own web.” Perhaps some of the answers to this crisis lie within this generation themselves. 

What do the youth of the developing world have that could contribute to the transformation of their own impoverished communities?

Thankfully, young adults in the developing world are blessed with a special set of characteristics that could be essential pieces of the puzzle. Here are a few of the unique factors that place them at the forefront of change:

TRIBES

Firstly, young people move in tribes, or close-knit peer groups.  The cultures of Asia and Africa tend to be more group-oriented than the individualistic West anyway.  But young people who have not yet established their own families are connected to one another in a special way that creates strong bonds  – for good or for ill.  Amongst Christian youth especially, this interconnectedness is a powerful force that can be tapped into for mutual support and ongoing motivation.

The Alongsiders model fits perfectly with this commitment to tribes by forming groups of 5-12 young Alongsiders who meet together at least monthly for mutual encouragement, prayer and debriefing. [Read more about How we use Peer Pressure].

TIME  

Secondly, young people often have extra time on their hands.  Their studies and extracurricular activities take up much of their schedule, but commitments to a wife or husband are still on the horizon.  They are not typically up all night with a screaming infant.  Their level of obligation to family and work is probably at the lowest level in their life until later when they become too old to work.   Less responsibility means that our Alongsiders have more capacity to commit to a vulnerable child. They have more time to offer that child and less pressure to look after others.

TECHNOLOGY

Finally, young people everywhere in the world are on the leading edge of adopting new technology.  The internet has revolutionalized connectedness and learning. Cell phones are ubiquitous and social media is rapidly transforming the cultural and political landscape. This level of comfort and embrace of technology has the potential to be used for mobilizing and motivating young people in the developing world in the same way as it has grabbed the attention of young people in the West. Alongsiders has seen some success in leveraging that technological edge through social media such as Facebook and Twitter, as well as videos, comics and other other innovative forms of communication.

Together with the youth population bulge, these three assets: tribes, time and technology, present a unique opportunity.  Alongsiders is committed to equipping these young people to be agents of transformation in their own communities.

Six months in a slum – an intern’s perspective

In the days following her mother’s death, I remember longing to know how Dai, my 8 year old neighbor in this Phnom Penh slum, was doing. 

You can only imagine how I felt, when after the death, I heard a familiar voice cry my name, “Han-NA”! 

Turning around quickly, I received the emphatic hug of a small friend, whose presence perhaps provided as much comfort to me as it might have provided to her. 

When I think about Dai’s future, I cannot help but wish that someone would guide her in the coming years—someone who shares the language and background, someone committed to her in the difficult time ahead without a mother, someone who will point her to an ever-present hope in God. 

Dai is one of a significant number of children, in my community alone, that could use such a person in their life...  someone to walk alongside.

As children face the brunt of neglect and injustice in most of the world, the Church is called to respond.  Perhaps then, rather than fighting the wrong battles, the Church can be the kind of people who live like Jesus, in coming alongside the forgotten— communicating to the world, thus, that the ones the world has rejected… are loved, valuable, and absolutely worthwhile. 

I am still not quite sure how I got connected with Alongsiders exactly, but the connection was a God-send, undoubtedly.  My deep-seated desire to see local churches actively engaging in the reconciliation and redemption of lives in their community, particularly through discipleship and education, is exactly what I found happening in Cambodia, through Alongsiders. 

As a fourth year student at Wheaton College, Illinois, getting to be a part of what is happening in Cambodia through a six-month internship, is an absolute privilege.  These crucial six months are an opportunity to glimpse of what God is doing in the world, in the heart of marginalized communities, and a time to experience the difficult tension between the “Developed” and “Developing” Worlds. 

The experience provides a platform to question, what it means to live, responsibly, as a Christian in a divided world, and further, to think through principles that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.           
Every so often, one gets the opportunity to witness something in life that makes the heart come alive, that is so obviously steeped in God’s presence that it brings us to our knees, that is so extraordinary that it can only be the Kingdom of God. 

Within the last two months in Cambodia, I have experienced a few of these moments, in places, perhaps, least expected.  Some of these have been with my Cambodian family in our urban slum—moments of deep grace when I had nothing to offer, but a throbbing head, a lingering fever, and a few Khmer words. 

I have also had the privilege to bear witness to an extraordinary group of local young people  committed to the life of one vulnerable child each, at the epicenter of the system’s injustices. 

I have been able to see a Church alive and active, in the discipleship of their community’s at-risk children.  

Quite frankly, the Life—in every sense of the word— that is being shared, is nothing short of remarkable. 

It is that Life that I wish for my friend, Dai

[Written by Hanna Tzou, currently interning with Alongsiders in Cambodia. Contact us for more information about internship opportunities in 2014.]